


now darling, where do we go from here?

by scarlettholly



Category: Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - No Aqours, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Internalized Homophobia, Past Sexual Assault, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:53:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 26,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27115678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarlettholly/pseuds/scarlettholly
Summary: Yohane, mulling over her somber feelings and wanting a bit of excitement, visits a nightclub. The rest of the night is a blacked out blur and she wakes up in a kind stranger's home.
Relationships: Kurosawa Dia/Tsushima Yohane
Comments: 108
Kudos: 85





	1. a lot

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: This fic features a lot of heavy themes that will be written as respectfully as possible. Yohane is just a little bitch who uses humor to cope (mood) and I mean no ill will with her words.

It was a cold night. Yohane felt tired and she wanted something to wake her up. Ducking into a nightclub, Yohane ordered herself a drink and leaned against the wall. She waited for the atmosphere to warm up. If she was unlucky, someone’s eyes would meet hers. She’d be pulled onto the dance floor either by a guy hoping to get lucky or a group of girls happy for a new friend. Neither were all that pleasant. 

This time was a little different. Her eyes kept drifting to this one woman. She had the most elegant looking outfit that screamed wealth and her posture was a practiced perfect. However it was the gorgeous, silky looking black hair that really drew Yohane’s attention. That and also her ass.

Ripping her gaze away, Yohane knew she couldn’t. She was supposed to be ignoring the feelings she had towards other women. Focus only when she felt things for men which was never. Besides, she’d never have a chance with a woman like that. Yohane knew she should go home. Instead she ordered another drink and continued alternating between scrolling through her phone and staring at this woman. Another three drinks later and she was drunk enough to make some dumb choices.

Exactly what choices she made, Yohane had no idea.

She opened her eyes to an unfamiliar setting and panicked. Trying to recall what happened, she sat up with a headache. Seeing herself still in last night’s clothes was a good sign… Maybe? She hoped to god no one had taken advantage of her while drunk. Frantically looking around, Yohane was surprised to see her phone on charge. Her black bomber jacket was draped neatly over a chair in which sat her bag. Someone had taken very good care of her stuff. Yohane didn't care though, she was just happy to collect her things.

Scanning her texts, Yohane tried to get any sort of context to what happened. Nothing. Last night was a complete blur and looking at her phone wasn't helping. She slipped on her jacket and quietly walked to the door. It opened with a soft creak that made Yohane wince. She tiptoed down the stairs.

“Oh.” A voice called out. “Are you up?” 

Yohane froze. 

A familiar looking woman walked in, giving her a smile. “Relax, nothing happened. I made _sure_ of that, okay? Do you want breakfast?”

Shaking her head, Yohane eyed the door. “I’m not hungry…”

“Then…” There was a frown. “Please just sit with me for a few minutes, I want to talk.”

Yohane’s eyes darted between the door and this woman. After a few seconds she sighed and nodded. She was led into a kitchen. A bowl of cereal next to a laptop and a mountain of paperwork showed how her morning was going. 

“Do you remember my name?”

Yohane shook her head. “I don’t remember a thing, sorry.”

There was a soft chuckle. “Don't worry, it happens. Kurosawa Dia.”

“That's a pretty name…” Yohane smiled at her, uncharacteristically shy but it was more appropriate for the situation. Her next words were not so suitable. “Is Dia short for diamond? Because you're as pretty as one.”

“It is and that is exactly what you said to me last night.” 

Yohane's face burned red. “Oh.” After a long while, Yohane mumbled out her name quickly. “Tsushima Yoshi- Yohane. Tsushima Yohane.”

“I remembered… Anyway, Yohane-chan. I guess I should explain what happened… You got really drunk and I was going to take you home but you started crying about how you didn’t want to and how there was no place for you…” Dia shot her a worried look before carrying on. “So I took you back to mine and you slept in the guest room.”

“So we didn’t fuck?”

Dia coughed, taken aback by the bluntness. “No we didn’t. Although, not for your lack of trying.” There was a tiny tint of playful teasing to her tone. Blushing again, Yohane shuffled in place. This was so embarrassing, she wanted to curl up and die already. She cursed herself for her stupidity. Waking up in a stranger’s bed after getting black out drunk was one of the dumbest things she’d ever done. Yohane said nothing in reply. Dia took it as her cue to carry on. “I wanted to ask… Wait- Fuck I don’t know how to word this…” She bit her lip in frustration, glaring at the empty space in front of her. “Please can you just sit down? I want to talk…”

“S-sure…” Yohane mumbled, way too embarrassed to protest. She sat down across from Dia and waited.

“Do you remember what you said?” Dia asked.

Yohane shook her head.

“You… Said you didn't want to go home. That no one cares about you and there was no place for you to go...”

Yohane winced. Had she really said all that? “Yeah… Sounds about right,” she joked.

Dia wasn’t laughing. In fact she was looking right through her with sympathetic filled eyes. Her lips curled up into a soft yet sad smile. “Can I ask more about…?”

“My sad and pathetic life?” Yohane finished her sentence for her. 

“Yes,” Dia chuckled before shaking her head softly. “I would have used other, _kinder_ terms but…”

Yohane shrugged as she contemplated what she would even talk about. There was so much that it was an overwhelming amount. ‘A lot’ was the only appropriate way she could describe what was wrong with her. Yohane also wasn’t too into the idea of unloading everything onto a stranger, no matter how kind they seemed. She let the silence stretch out. If Dia wanted to have this conversation she was going to have to search for the thread that she could tug on.

“Do you really have no place to go?”  
  
“I guess I do… I don’t really feel safe there though…” She laughed dryly, a bitterness enveloping her tone. “But I don’t really feel safe anywhere so nothing new.”

“That’s…” Dia kept her composure steady but she couldn't stop the horror that crept into her tone. “That’s awful. I’m so sorry.”

Yohane shrugged.

“How old are you?” Dia asked.

“Twenty one.”

A sigh of relief. “About the same age as me then. I’m twenty three. I guessed you’d be about that because you were drinking but these places let kids with fake IDs get away with it sometimes…”

“Like at least half the time.” Yohane commented from experience. It was all down to if you found the right place.

“Do… You go out like that often?” Dia asked, tapping her fingers on the table apprehensively.

“What do you mean?”

There was hesitation to Dia’s voice. “Just… To a nightclub alone?”

“Yeah…”

Dia chewed her lip. Every second Yohane knew she was getting pitied more and more. It was a tiny bit of attention that felt somewhat nice. In a sort of 'this is the best she could get' way. There was a pause before Dia sighed. “And when you're not… Hitting up nightclubs, what do you do?”

Yohane shrugged. “I work as a waitress for a cafe in town and I do online streams. Fortune-telling and performance kind of stuff.”

“Fortune-telling?” Dia quirked an eyebrow, prompting her to go on.

“I charge for tarot mostly… But I do a few pendulums and various omen readings.” Yohane mumbled her words nervously but there was a glint of excitement hidden there. 

Dia encouraged it with a welcoming smile. “Omens? How does that work?”

Eyes shining, Yohane’s voice went deeper. “Kukukuku. Would you be interested in finding out your fate?”

“Yeah… Sure. Can you tell me how Thursdays’ meeting is going to go? I need to figure out how hard I'm going to have to push to double our shipments. It’s a risk but with it almost being the holiday season it’s potentially a way to turn a profit.”

“You…” Yohane stared at her dumbfounded before smirking. She liked this woman a lot. “You want to use the arcane arts, that can predict _life and death_ … To figure out how a business meeting is going to go?”

“Yes?” Dia asked, her face cold as stone. “Yohane-san. This is life or death you understand?”

“Is that why you’re working on a Sunday?” Yohane gestured to the paperwork and laptop.

“Yes.”

“What do you do?” Yohane asked, leaning in just a little closer. Her eyes tried to scan the things in front of her to get some context clues. Dia asked about her shitty life. It was only fair she asked about Dia’s seemingly perfect one.

“My family run’s a fishing business in Numazu. While I study business here in Tokyo, I help them manage it. I am sure to inherit it one day but I wanted to get some education qualifications while I had the chance.” Dia paused for a moment, letting out a heavy breath. “As a backup I suppose…”

“Think something might go wrong? Also I’m from Nuzamu, we moved to Tokyo a few years ago.”

“No way.” Dia smiled, looking at Yohane with curious eyes. “Have you ever heard of a town called Uchiura? It’s nearby-”

“Holy shit,” Yohane interrupted her. “I went to Uranohoshi- Well actually I dropped out like a week later but.”

Dia frowned, another pitying look crept onto her face. “Oh.”

A shrug.

“I can’t believe we went to the same school. That's such a creepy coincidence.” Dia said.

“It really is… Maybe it’s _fate_ we met.” Yohane grinned.

“I… I have a boyfriend.” Dia replied, glancing away.

“Oh.” This was now even more awkward. She had probably tried to flirt with Dia a lot last night. Maybe it was a good thing she didn’t remember. “Sorry, sorry.”

“Don’t be…” Dia shook her head, and flashed her a quick smile. “I understand and you didn’t know… Now you do so...”

A quick nod. “Got it.” Yohane wondered why Dia waited so long to tell her? It just made the whole thing even more embarrassing. She should probably leave soon and save what little was left of her pride. Then be happy she didn’t get taken home by a creep (this time) and put the whole experience with Dia into the back of her mind. A weird night to recall one day and maybe it would make for a good story. If she had anyone to tell it to that was.

Scratching behind her head, Yohane shot Dia an apologetic look before glancing out the kitchen. “I guess I better get home…”

There was a flicker of something on Dia’s face. It was gone before Yohane could work out what it was. “I see… I have work to get done with as well so...”

Picking up her bag, Yohane smiled. “Thanks… I'm sorry for being a mess and troubling you so much.”

Dia shook her head. “It was nothing like that. Please stay safe and be careful. Not everyone has good intentions…”

Yohane chuckled, pushing herself up from the table. “Tell me about it. Found that out the hard way.” Dia looked horrified so Yohane went to reassure her. “Relax, it was only some mild sexual assault.” 

She didn’t look very reassured. 

Yohane didn’t know what else to say. She shrugged again. Dia walked her to the door quietly. Her shoes were put neatly to one side which was such a sweet and caring gesture. Yohane left after thanking Dia again and muttering a quick ‘see ya’. Heading down the driveway, Yohane looked back at the closed door. 

There was a dull ache.

* * *

Yohane had no idea what her idiot of a drunk self did but she woke up to a strange but now just slightly familiar ceiling. How the fuck she ended up at Dia’s again she had no clue. Face burning with embarrassment, she grabbed her things and walked down to the kitchen. 

Dia was standing there, in a red and practical looking apron, cooking up something. She greeted Yohane with a warm smile. “Hey take a seat- And no. You can’t skip this time. I’m making you breakfast.”

“What are you making?” Yohane asked before remembering her manners. “Also, sorry again…”

“Pancakes. The crêpe style ones though because I prefer them… If that's okay? Oh- You don't have any special dietary requirements do you?” Dia cast a look over her shoulder to spot Yohane’s little head shake. Satisfied, she spoke again with a chuckle. “An old friend of mine always wanted the exact carb count because she was diabetic so I’m now in the habit of asking about that kind of thing… She went to Uranohoshi too…” 

“Are you two not friends anymore?” Yohane asked, feeling the tension start to creep in. Maybe it was not a good idea to go asking about this kind of thing.

“Sadly not…” Dia mumbled with a sigh before returning her attention back to the pancakes. She flipped it perfectly and Yohane was pretty impressed. “What do you like with them?”

“Strawberries and chocolate!” Yohane grinned excitedly before she remembered to tone it down. “I-If you have any…? Otherwise anything sort of sweet is fine.”

“Well…” Dia had a smugness to her tone. She opened the pantry and pulled out some chocolate spread. “I think you’re in luck.” 

Yohane scoffed quietly. As if the universe would be that kind. She was a cursed being cast down from heaven and doomed to be unluc- Oh Dia had strawberries too… Dia passed her a glass of water and a pancake. On the side of the plate were a few chopped up strawberries. The chocolate spread was slid across the table towards her. Yohane couldn’t believe how good it looked. She lavished an insane amount of chocolate spread while Dia watched her with an amused smile. 

Dia cooked her another pancake, and one for herself before taking a seat across from Yohane. She pulled her laptop closer. “The meeting went well by the way.”

“Oh right… Sorry I didn’t do any omens for you.” 

Dia flashed her a smile. “I still want one, you know.”

“You could actually get one on my stream tonight? Or Wednesday’s… Those pancakes are all the payment needed.”

“Oh?” Dia prompted her to continue talking. 

“I can… Give you my url if you want to check it out?”

Dia nodded, pulling out her phone. Yohane told her the username she streamed under, utterly surprised and confused by how much Dia seemed to care. The thought of her actually swinging by to watch was more than a little embarrassing. She’d have to make the next few streams spectacular just in case.

“Thank you.” Dia smiled at her warmly. “I promise I'll watch tonight.”

Yohane shrugged. “You don’t have too…”

“Now…” Dia’s voice hardened. She trained a glare at Yohane. “What were you doing at that club again? All by yourself too?”

“It’s fun I guess… I don’t know… I don’t really remember.” Yohane answered truthfully. 

Yohane went for a drink in a different club then just planned to go back home. That probably didn't work out judging by the fact she was in Dia’s home once again.

“You’re lucky I was there!” There was a frustration to Dia’s voice that scared the shit out of Yohane. “Give me your phone.” She ordered. Yohane obliged, unlocking it and passing it to Dia. After a few moments typing, Dia let out a short breath that almost sounded relieved. “I’ve added my number. Call me next time you do something dumb.”

“Right… Sorry.”

Dia sighed, looking Yohane directly in the eyes. “Now darling, listen to me. You’ve got nothing to apologize for.”

“Bullshit?” Direct attention from Dia was too much. The way she said 'darling' rang in Yohane’s head as she slid her gaze downwards to the floor. “I’ve done nothing but trouble you.” 

Dia quietly mumbled her next words through a smirk. “I kinda like it though.”

“Do you get off to this?”

Dia coughed in disbelief. “No? What?”

“It was a dumb joke.” Yohane shrugged. 

Great now she was going to make things awkward again. Dia had told her last time about having a boyfriend. Yohane knew she really needed to stop being weird. Dia was already giving her more kindness than she deserved. Sure, it would be gone soon enough when Dia got bored of pitying her but Yohane didn’t want to speed up the process. Till then she could enjoy the crumbs of affection she got from an overly kind woman with a boyfriend. Oh god she really was a desperate mess.

Dia brushed over it. “Just make sure you call me next week when you get too drunk to stand, okay?”

“Was… I really that bad?”

“Worse.” Dia teased her with a perfectly straight face. 

Blushing, Yohane grabbed her bag. It was time to go before she died of embarrassment. “Sorry. I’m going to try not to be such a fuck up.”

“You’re not a fuck up Yohane-chan. Not at all.”

“Right…” Yohane shuffled around in the seat. This was just a bit too much. “Well… I best get going-”

“Wait.” Dia, gave her a soft smile. “Next time. Why don’t you call me before you get drunk? We can grab a few drinks.”

“You’d want to do that…?” Yohane asked, breath hitching in her throat.

“Of course? You’re a lovely girl, Yohane-chan. Funny too. Though I have the feeling you really don't remember half of the things we talked about.”

“Sorry… I think I might be an alcoholic. Who would have thought?” Yohane joked as she scratched behind her head. She wished the nights in the bar weren’t a blur. What in the world did she talk to Dia about? God she probably embarrassed herself so much. “A-anyway- I’m gonna get going…” 

Dia gave her a sympathetic smile. “See ya.”


	2. what ifs

Standing outside a nightclub, holding the phone to her ear, Yohane waited. The sound of the dial tone was faint above the hum of music coming from inside. 

A tired voice answered. “Did you do something dumb?”

Dia was so to the point it almost hurt. It really put just how much people expected her to mess up into context. Sure it had only been like two days since Dia gave her the phone number but this was her best attempt at not fucking up. “N-no… Well not yet anyway…”

There was a sigh. The sharp sound of a laptop being shut and short muffled shuffling came from Dia’s end. After a few tense seconds, Dia spoke. “Do you need me to come pick you up?”

“I’m not that drunk! Not right now anyway... I wanted to ask if you wanted to come out for a drink?” After Yohane said it she wondered what she was doing. Why the hell was she trying to invite Dia out. She had a boyfriend and way better things to do. 

“It’s a fucking Tuesday…”

“ _Anddddd.”_ Yohane playfully drew out the last syllable of the word. She couldn’t stop herself from pushing things just a little more. “It could be a fun fucking Tuesday.”

“Where are you?” Dia asked. There was a harshness to her voice that terrified Yohane. She immediately answered the question, her shoulders tensing up. After a second Yohane tried to push those thoughts aside and listen to Dia. “I’m coming to pick you up. I don't want to hear any complaints. Got it?”

“Got it…” Yohane gulped. She stayed right there, rooted to the ground until a car pulled up across the street. Yohane had seen it resting on Dia’s driveway before so she guessed it was time to go. 

Dia got out of the car, walking up to her with a relieved looking smile. “Now darling, tell me what you're doing out here?”

Yohane shrugged, feeling her heart stop at Dia’s words. 

“Want to come back to mine?” Dia asked, there was a hint of hesitation in her voice like she was considering how much of a bad idea it would be. “I have to get some work done so don’t go whining for attention, okay?”

Yohane nodded. She was probably going to end up doing that anyway because making dumb choices was quickly becoming her hobby. Dia led her to the car and held the door open while Yohane climbed into the passenger seat. It was unreal how comfortable this car was. She glanced around at the stylish black interior, stopping herself from whistling at how expensive it looked. Dia was obviously loaded. There was a smug look on Dia’s face as she started the engine and drove. Yohane didn’t blame her for enjoying the chance to show off.

Twenty minutes later they were back at Dia’s house. She was guided to the couch and to her disappointment, instead of being passed another drink, a glass of water was put on the coffee table. Carefully it sat on the coaster because Dia was of course the type to use those. With a dejected pout, Yohane took a sip. That familiar laptop was brought into the room as Dia took a seat next to her. 

After a few minutes of almost silence with only the faint kind of frantic tapping of a keyboard, Dia spoke. “I’m glad you called.”

“Are you?” Yohane asked, picking up the glass of water and staring down into it. If only it was something a bit stronger. Ignoring the need to get drunk again because she really couldn't stand being sober, Yohane waited.

“Yes.” Dia slid her a sideways glance that read ‘I’m not going to bother getting into this complex’ then went back to her laptop.

Yohane pulled out her phone. She wasn’t sure how long they spent just sitting like this. The sound of a frustrated sigh ripped her from her thoughts. Yohane looked across to see Dia scowling at the screen. 

“Something wrong?” She asked carefully. 

“Oh.” Dia turned her attention to Yohane and smiled. “It’s nothing.”

“Is that what you like to tell yourself?” Yohane smirked. Her tone lacked the tentativeness it had just a moment ago. She was far too pleased with the idea of finding a fault with Dia’s perfect life.

“Excuse me?”

Shit. She guessed that hit a nerve. Shrinking back and trying to sink herself into Dia’s couch, Yohane mumbled her reply. “Sorry, sorry. It’s not my place.”

A venomous glare. “You’re right about that. Also someone like you has no right to lecture me.” 

The dig stung a little but Yohane had heard much worse. She pushed past it and tried to de-escalate. “Dia-san. Listen I’m not going to lecture you. I just…” Yohane trailed off, wishing her head was a little less fuzzy so she could say what she actually meant. “You can talk to me if you want…”

Dia ignored her, only humming softly in reply. Yohane didn’t know what to say after that. She’d fucked up and Dia was bored of her already. Was this the start of the one person who gave her pity slipping away? Yohane hated it. She looked at her almost empty glass of water and drank down the last of it bitterly. Dia sighed again before shutting the laptop. She got up from the couch then walked out the room. A minute later she returned with two glasses of what looked like whiskey on the rocks.

“Whiskey?” Dia asked in a way that didn’t make it sound optional.

After a moment's hesitation Yohane took a sip. She knew she should slow down and enjoy the experience but Yohane figured she would enjoy being drunk a lot more. Drinking just a little too fast it contrasted awfully to the elegant way Dia handled just about everything. 

“Alright…” Dia spoke with a sigh. “I didn’t mean that. I was just frustrated. Sorry.”

“I'm no stranger to people taking their anger out on me so don’t worry.” Yohane joked, hoping it would reassure Dia. A second later she remembered Dia was a normal person who didn’t find dark depressing remarks like that at all reassuring. “Shit, sorry. Bad joke…” The guilty looking grimace on Dia’s face showed that what she said missed its mark by a mile. Yohane winced. “You’re so sweet Dia. Like genuinely the nicest person I’ve ever met. Please don’t worry.”

“That’s why I try to apologize when I do something wrong.” Dia mumbled into her glass.

“God.” Had anyone treated her with such an unbiased fairness before? Yohane chuckled to herself before replying. “It’s nothing. You should… Maybe get back to your work?”

“It can…” She looked back at the laptop apprehensively, as if second guessing her choices. “Wait till tomorrow.” 

Yohane beamed at the thought of getting Dia’s undivided attention. A second later she wondered just how desperate she was. The answer was already a depressing ‘very’.

“Want to get pizza? I’ll pay,” Yohane asked, already opening up a new tab on her phone and searching for a place that would do deliveries. 

“ _Disgusting_. What an unhealthy thing to eat… Fine.”

Chuckling, Yohane ordered a large pizza for them to share. Asking for two very important things as she did: The address and the wifi password. 

Shuffling awkwardly, Yohane wanted to suggest putting on a movie but held her tongue. It was all starting to feel uncomfortably like a relaxed but still romantic date. Fantasies of that being a reality flickered in Yohane’s mind. One of the stronger images was Dia leaning over, whispering something sweet into her ear before kissing her. Yohane mentally cursed herself repeating the fact Dia had a boyfriend over and over. She needed to stop this before it got out of hand which it already was but she should at least try. When the doorbell rang, Yohane stood up, using it as a chance to get a quick break.

It was going to be a long night but at least it had pizza.

Dia was the one who suggested they watch a movie. She opened up Netflix and Yohane noticed two other profiles.

“Who have you got leeching?” Yohane asked, picking up a slice of pizza and taking a bite.

“My sister and boyfriend.”

Yohane ignored the way the mention of Dia’s boyfriend seemed to sting. “You have a sister?”

Dia nodded, flicking through as she scanned for a movie. “Yep. Same age as you actually. Her name’s Ruby. She’s studying textiles in Kyoto. A really good seamstress took her on as an apprentice, you see.”

“Huh?” Yohane mumbled, utterly impressed. “I take it your sister is good?”

“Better than good,” Dia purred with pride. “That’s why I'm doing this. I took the boring path and accepted inheriting the family business so she could achieve her dreams.”

“You really care about her… That’s really sweet of you to do that for her, Dia-chan.”

Dia hummed in a way that didn’t really give a reply. “Do you have any siblings?”

Yohane shook her head. “Just me.”

“I see…” Dia trailed off before smiling. “What about this one?” She gestured to the TV with a nod.

Yohane looked at the screen and squinted. It seemed awful but what the hell, maybe it could be amusing to laugh at. After agreeing, the movie was put on and the two of them enjoyed the pizza. As expected the movie turned out to be terrible. Dia started commenting on plot holes and mistakes the entire way through. Honestly she became more entertaining than the film itself. Yohane watched adoringly as Dia did a tiny few second rants after another incorrect fact was mentioned.

She’d get embarrassed a few moments later and try to look proud, correcting her posture in a futile cover up attempt. A few words of reassurance was all it took for Dia to relax a little. Yohane guessed she must have grown up in an environment that pressured her to stay in line with that practiced perfection. 

Yohane wondered more about Dia. How such a wonderful complex woman like her could exist and why the hell she was wasting any of her time on someone like her. Dia’s harsh words from before came to mind. This time they cut a little deeper as she remembered them. Yohane winced, feeling tears start to well up. She really was a mess who didn’t deserve someone like Dia doing all this for her.

Dia noticed this shift. “What’s wrong. You’ve gone quiet?” She took her attention away from the movie, focusing on Yohane. Just Yohane and with a soft look that read she was worth more than any movie in the world. 

Yohane melted. Lip’s trembling, she didn’t know what to say but the one thing that had been on her mind since she first experienced Dia’s compassion. “I don’t deserve this… Why are you being so nice to me?”

“Oh darling. Listen, everyone deserves at least some kindness.” Dia smiled at her, warmly. “You especially. Now I don't want you saying things like that ever again, okay?”

Yohane nodded, captivated by Dia. She focused on every little detail from the way Dia’s eyes shined to her alluring smile and silky black hair. Dia seemed to notice this as she bit her lip and leaned in just slightly. Yohane’s heart started beating rapidly. Her face flushed. Still mesmerized by Dia, she got closer. 

Wait. Yohane’s mind caught up to what was about to happen. “Dia…” She winced, turning her head away. Her pulse was still racing and her body started to ache. “You have a boyfriend, remember?” 

_“Fuck.”_ Dia cursed, quickly leaning back. “That didn’t just happen. Nothing happened and nothing was going to happen… Okay?”

Yohane wondered who the hell Dia was trying to convince. “Got it.”

A long silence stretched out.

“I’m sorry Yohane. I think you should…”

“I’ll go.” Yohane nodded, gathering her things together. It was fun while it lasted but all good things come to an end. She’d done the morally correct thing and not let anything happen. No matter how much she longed for it. “Sorry.”

Dia stalled for a moment, hand covering her mouth as she just stared at the floor. “You’ve got nothing to apologize for…”

“Right…” Yohane glanced at the time. It was too late for buses to still be running. “I’m going to call a taxi… Is that okay?” Lingering for any longer than needed felt criminal. 

“Yeah… Do what you want.” Dia said while having what looked to be a mini mental breakdown.

She quickly called the taxi… The wait was agonizing but somehow the film was still playing throughout all of this. Yohane had never focused more on something in her entire life. Dia sat at the other end of the couch, staring blankly into her phone.

On the ride home, Yohane couldn’t stop thinking about longing ‘what ifs’. 


	3. thank you

Two weeks later, Yohane got a text from Dia.

_‘You’re not dead are you?’_

They hadn’t talked once since that night. When Yohane said she was going to go, she meant it. She didn't want to be a burden anymore, it wasn’t right and DIa probably still had a boyfriend. Definitely still had a boyfriend… Yohane didn’t want to get hopeful thinking about Dia leaving him just for her. 

Those fantasies still found her every night when she closed her eyes. Sometimes they ended up sexual but most of the time it was just a sad and pathetic longing to be held. To be touched. To be cared about.

The text came as a surprise. 

_‘I’m not dead’_ Yohane sent her reply, then immediately sent another. _‘Not yet any way’_

_‘Reassuring as ever I see. Call me later, okay?’_

Yohane stared at the screen apprehensively. _‘Sure’_

Having no idea what Dia wanted, Yohane wondered when she should call. What time was later exactly? After she finished work, Yohane decided that was an appropriate time if there was any. Sitting on a park bench because she didn’t want to have this conversation around her parents, Yohane sighed as she stared at her phone. It took two minutes for her to finally press the call button. She hadn't managed to think of what she was going to say in all that time.

“Hey Yohane-chan.” 

Dia’s voice hit her hard. Yohane felt herself getting choked up just from those two words. “H-hey…” She mumbled out an inadequate reply.

“How have you been holding up?” Dia asked, getting straight to the point.

“I’ve been doing alright…” Yohane answered, a tiny bit of truth to her words.

Not a moment's hesitation. “And the drinking?” 

That was one thing Yohane really respected about Dia, she wasn’t shy about this kind of shit. She was strong where others would squirm. It always felt like a blow that windded her.

“A lot of course but... Not…” She laughed, wondering how admitting the next thing was going to go. “Not as bad... I’ve been trying to be careful.”

“Oh Yohane-chan. That's great, I'm proud of you.” There was a genuine kindness to Dia’s voice.

It made Yohane feel like shit. “T-thanks.”

There was a long pause before Dia finally broke it. “I’m going out this Friday with a friend but she is unbearable… Do you want to come and keep me sane?”

Yohane chuckled. “Sure? What do you mean by unbearable?”

“I’ll leave that a surprise.” 

Picturing a smirk on Dia’s face as she said those words, Yohane felt her heart flutter. She’d need to repress these feelings and fast. Friday would be awful if she didn’t keep herself in check. This friend also could be bad news. Agreeing was a terrible idea but she did it anyway.

“Okay, Yohane-chan. Talk more on Friday?”

“Wait-” Regretting her words already, she sighed. “Actually it’s nothing…”

“Tell me what you were going to say.” Dia demanded.

“I’m sorry about last time. Please don’t hate me for it…” Yohane’s breath hitched in her throat. She had to do her best not to cry. How pathetic would that be? 

“Hate?” Dia asked, utterly confused. “A few drinks and no one’s thinking clearly. Besides, nothing happened so don’t worry.”

Oh. _Dia had chosen to repress it?_ Well that was a coping mechanism Yohane respected and understood all too well. She knew better than to meddle with Dia’s shit after what happened last time.

“See you Friday.” Yohane replied.

“See you Friday.” Dia echoed.

* * *

The wait was agonizing knowing she was actually going to see Dia again. She thought it was all over. Yohane had accepted this fact only to be proved wrong. Friday rolled around eventually and Yohane got ready to meet up with Dia and her friend.

She’d tried way too hard to look kind of casual but also kind of hot. Regretting all her choices, she headed to the nightclub they were supposed to meet at. It was one Yohane had actually never been too before and it was apparently pretty big.

Dia was outside, leaning against the wall and talking to a blonde woman who Yohane guessed must be the friend.

Walking up to them Yohane tried to act as confident as possible. “Hey Dia-san.”

The blonde girl raised an eyebrow before smirking. She pulled Yohane into a hug. “Where’d you find this little cutie?” Yohane was released from the embrace. “Is she single?”

“Keep your impure desires away from this one.” An unusual sharpness to her tone.

The friend cast an amused sideways glance at Dia before ignoring her in favor of Yohane. “Mari Ohara.”

“Tsushima Yohane…”

Mari smirked playfully, linking arms with Yohane. “What a cool sounding name! It suits you.”

“T-thanks… I chose it myself.” Yohane was starting to realize what Dia meant about this person. It was about two seconds in and it was already unbearable. She cast a look back at Dia, begging to be saved. No help came as Mari led the way into the club.

The three of them ordered drinks and found a table free in the far corner. Yohane had made sure to eat before coming out in hopes of not making a complete fool of herself. Not that it helped with the overwhelming desperation to get some mental release by drinking way too fucking much.

Mari was flirting with her the entire time and it was weird to have someone that open about being attracted to a woman. Yohane told her she was straight. 

Dia narrowed her eyes at Yohane but said nothing. Mari lamented before turning her attention to other people in the club. It seemed Mari did know how to respect boundaries after all. Some of the tension left Yohane’s shoulders. She met Dia’s gaze and a blush rose to her cheeks. Did she feel bad for lying? No… It was more like she felt guilty for being a bad example to Dia who was clearly also repressing feelings towards women. 

Mari grinned, saying something about meeting a woman’s eye and needing to go shoot her shot. A second later she was gone leaving Dia and Yohane alone.

“She does this every time.” Dia shouted above the music before she sighed into her drink. “Trust me, she won't be coming home with us.”

Yohane stared in disbelief at Mari who was already talking to this random woman. They both looked very engaged in whatever conversation they were having. It was actually kind of impressive.

“It was a lot more bearable with…” 

Yohane didn't catch the rest of what Dia said. “What?”

Dia leaned in close. “Let's go outside.”

Yohane nodded and the two of them grabbed their bags, heading towards a little outside area of the club. On the way, Dia stopped by Mari. They communicated in a few hand signals that Yohane had no idea what they meant. That was probably the point. A second later, Dia smirked then rolled her eyes at Mari. 

Dia guided Yohane outside. It was quieter out here and for better or for worse she could actually think.

“Is Mari-san okay?”

“Yep. She’s fine.” Dia looked disgusted and tired. “I wish she wouldn’t ditch me every fucking time.”

“Is that why you called me?” Yohane asked. She wanted to be a bit more daring and ask ‘why not your boyfriend’ or something like that but held her tongue. Creating more awkwardness would be a pretty dumb thing to do.

Dia nodded, shooting Yohane a smile. “Figured you’d be down for a drink…”

“Hey!” Yohane whined. “That hurts! I’m… Actually trying okay?”

A guilty look crossed Dia’s face as she realized the full implications of what she’d just said. “I know… I’m sorry.” 

Yohane folded her arms feeling pissed off. It faded about two seconds later when she accepted Dia was genuinely sorry. With a sigh, Yohane decided it was Dia’s turn to have shit brought up. “What was that about it being more bearable with… Something?”

Dia looked shocked for a second before shaking her head. “It was nothing.”

“Nope.” Yohane grinned, striking an over dramatic pose and lowering the pitch of her voice. “Tell your woes to the great Fallen Angel Yohane.”

Dia laughed, a smile appearing on her face. She looked up at the sky for a few moments. Yohane copied her, peering into the empty blackness. Not a single star was visible thanks to the city lights. 

A sigh from Dia brought them both back down to earth. “Fine. Oh and I watched a few of your streams by the way.”

“Y-you did?” Yohane’s face heated up. She couldn't really believe it. “W-what did you think?”

“You’re an amazing performer who keeps their audience well entertained.” Dia hummed for a moment. “Your dedication and care for all the little details of your set and costumes is very admirable. I see you put a lot of work into them and it pays off well. Not only that but you frequently give information about Wicca and occultism so it’s very educational as well.”

Yohane stared at her slack jawed. She blinked a few times, having no idea what to say. That was the nicest thing she’d ever heard. She put so much work into these streams having someone actually complement them overwhelmed her. Yohane started sobbing right then and there. 

Arms wrapped around her and Dia gently stroked Yohane’s hair. “You still haven’t done an omen reading for me yet-” She chuckled, not letting go. Yohane said nothing as she whimpered into Dia’s chest. After a little while things calmed and Dia spoke again. “Come on. No more crying okay? This is like the fifth time I've had to hug you while crying-”

“Fifth?” Yohane blinked in surprise. She wiped at her eyes and sniffed. She might need to head to the bathroom and get cleaned up.

“I suppose you don’t remember the other times…” Dia hummed before sighing. “Well no matter.” She waited for Yohane to pull herself together before gesturing to head back inside.

Yohane may have just been overwhelmed by praise but that didn’t mean she’d forgotten anything. She tugged at Dia’s sleeve. “Wait. Thank you and uhh… What was that before about the more bearable thing?”

“You-” Dia rolled her eyes before her lips curled up into a smile. “You're not letting that one go huh?” She paced around, humming to herself. “Alright do you remember when I made you pancakes and I mentioned having a diabetic friend who also went to Uranohoshi?”

“The one you’re sadly not friends with anymore?”

“Well… It’s a bit more complicated than that.”

“Of course.” Yohane laughed.

“I’ll spare you the details but-”

“You don’t have to do that you know…” Yohane looked down at her feet, shuffling from one to the other awkwardly. “You don't have to spare me the details… I’m happy to listen.”

Dia looked genuinely touched. She gave Yohane a quick adoring smile before continuing. “Well her name was Kanan and the three of us used to be close. We were friends since we were kids and we... Formed an idol group together and it went well but… Things happened and Kanan and Mari ended up having a lot of issues. They both left. Kanan wouldn’t talk to me anymore and Mari studied abroad so I was just left alone…” She glanced quickly at Yohane, searching for something.

Yohane guessed it was reassurance. “Dia… I’m sorry that sucks…”

Dia nodded. “My feelings on the matter were not important and the group I put so much work into just disbanded. A year later Mari came back and we became friends again… We’re not as close as before though…” 

Yohane could feel the heavy weight of her words. She shuffled closer to Dia in some hopes of being a sort of emotional support. Their shoulders brushed and Yohane faintly blushed.

“Kanan and Mari eventually made up and we all became friends again. It was good for a while and I had someone to talk to when Mari ditched us for a hot woman but… Our friendship had problems that none of us ever seemed to solve… It fell apart again...” 

Yohane reached out, holding Dia’s hand tightly. She squeezed it supportively while not daring to actually look at Dia who was probably struggling to keep it together. 

Neither of them said a word as they stood there hand in hand. After a little while, Yohane glanced at Dia. “We should go back in… See if Mari-san is okay?”

A quick nod. Dia gathered her composure, finding her way back to that practiced perfect. As they walked, Yohane could swear she heard a quiet ‘thank you’ just above the music.


	4. home

Dia went over to go check on Mari, who was still talking to the same woman. The distance between them had shrunk by a lot. While Dia went to do that, Yohane headed to the bathroom. Splashing water on her face, Yohane made sure she didn’t look like absolute shit before returning.

Dia waved her over to a nearby table.

She sent Yohane a text. _‘I’m going to get us some more drinks.’_

Yohane nodded and waited patiently. When Dia returned Yohane was very frustratingly handed a soda. Normally she’d get mad about the idea of other people trying to meddle with her problems. Not that anyone actually cared enough to do so, it was just that the thought of being treated like she couldn’t take care of herself sucked. 

However, considering she had crashed at Dia’s house after getting blackout drunk twice now meant Dia was about the only person she would tolerate this shit from. She sipped her soda with a childish pout. Dia noticed this and chuckled, shooting Yohane a sympathetic look. 

The two of them texted each other about anything that came to mind. Yohane found it surprisingly fun to sit chatting with Dia while enjoying the atmosphere of the club

Mari came strolling back, looking like a cat that just caught a mouse. “Hey ladies! You don’t mind if I head back to my lovely new friend’s house, do you?”

Dia scowled before giving in and sighing. “Text me if you need anything. Remember to actually check in like we agreed and so help me if you send me any details about your sex life I will-”

Mari winked at Yohane, not even paying attention to Dia. “There’s plenty of hot guys here, maybe you’ll get lucky too, Yohane-chan. Anyway, ciao!”

With that, Mari left.

Yohane’s mind was left hanging on the ‘hot guys’ comment. She wished she could find men attractive. Being normal would be so much nicer. Instead she longed for the woman sitting across from her. The woman who had a boyfriend. 

Finishing off her soda, Yohane thought about how she _really_ wanted to get something alcoholic, after all. For some reason she didn’t. Instead, Yohane had a different idea in mind. 

Leaning in close, Yohane spoke above the music. “Dance with me?”

Dia seemed surprised for a moment before her expression was clouded by apprehension. After a few more seconds, Dia replied. “Fine.”

Yohane beamed with excitement. She grabbed her bag and watched as Dia downed the last of her drink. Taking Dia’s hand, she led her to the dance floor. The current song playing wasn’t the best but it would work. Yohane wondered how good of a dancer Dia was… Oh right she was an idol before. Yohane now started to wonder how hard she was going to have to work to keep up.

At first Dia seemed nervous as they started to dance together. Her movements were small and somewhat timid. The song changed to something with a bit more energy. Dia’s lips curled up into a charming smile as she started to get into the groove of things.

Her body swayed from side to side with the rhythm. Dia was beginning to let loose and Yohane found that delighted smile of hers so fucking hot. Yohane kept with the beat as she warmed up herself. Every touch sent electricity through her. Keeping up, Yohane rocked in tandem with the music and Dia.

Yohane laughed, feeling like she was actually having fun for the first time in a long while. The glint in Dia’s eyes said she was feeling the same.

Dia ran a hand through her hair, staring directly at Yohane with a sly smirk. Yohane almost started drooling watching her. If she wasn’t in love before, she was now. Still, Yohane wasn’t going to let herself fall behind. A few more songs played. The two of them danced, laughing as they moved together.

Yohane was glad she would be able to remember this night. 

Tiredness set in and she became desperate for a drink. Yohane tapped Dia’s shoulder and gestured to the bar with a tilt of her head. Dia nodded. A few minutes later they sat at another table with Yohane’s thirst adequately quenched. Well, at least one of them. 

Her eyes lingered on Dia. 

Remembering the whole boyfriend thing, she ripped her gaze away. Maybe Mari was right. There could be some guy here to take her mind off things. After a second of scanning the room, Yohane decided not to do that. No man would ever interest her and sadly she couldn’t change that.

That’s why Dia made her so curious. She was clearly denying she had feelings for women, but was she into both? Feeling guilty for hoping Dia was actually a lesbian, Yohane sighed. She wanted someone who understood her… Someone who’s been through similar and knows that pressure to be normal when you can’t be. That and she really wanted to kiss Dia.

“Want to get out of here?” Dia asked.

“Sure… Wait, can you still drive?”

A nod and smug looking smile. “Yes. I'm bellow the limit and always in control. ”

Yohane looked at Dia curiously. She certainly liked bragging about how impressive she was. Not that Yohane minded, she was more than happy to let Dia talk about anything she wanted… Even if it was showing off.

On the drive home, Yohane got Dia to turn the music up. Sitting back, she closed her eyes and enjoyed the feel of the ride. A shitty pop song hummed in her ears but Yohane enjoyed it. 

“Where are we going?” Yohane asked.

“You know… I don’t really know... I was thinking we could just go back to mine for a bit?” Dia shrugged.

Yohane also shrugged in her reply. So much for Dia being always in control, she had no idea what to do now. Neither did Yohane. They headed there anyway because no better ideas were suggested. 

Parked up by Dia’s house was a car Yohane didn't recognize. 

“Ah shit…” Dia cursed, scowling to herself.

Yohane tilted her head. “What’s wrong?” She took a guess.

“My boyfriend decided to drop in for a visit…” The frustration in her voice wasn’t a very good sign. “Let me take you home.”

“Sure.”

Dia sighed, starting the engine again. The drive this time wasn’t nearly as fun. The entire car was filled with an awkward weight that neither of them would acknowledge. 

Silently, Yohane dreaded going back home. She longed to instead wake up at Dia’s house where it felt warm and welcoming to even a cursed and unlucky being like her. If she let her mind wander too much, she would long to wake up next to Dia.

Dia looked like she dreaded what was to come. Was it getting harder for her to pretend everything was fine? 

When they got close, Yohane told Dia to pull over so she could walk the rest of the way. For some reason she didn’t really want Dia to actually see this part of her life. As if the outside of a building could reveal all the things she tried to hide from herself and others. 

Not wanting things to end on such a dull note, Yohane unbuckled her seat belt and spoke. “I had fun tonight… I…” She blinked back the forming tears that seemed to well up. “Yeah, I just had a lot of fun… Thank you.”

“I had fun too.” Dia smiled at her, before reaching over to pull Yohane into a quick hug. She let go a moment later with a sad expression and a longing for longer. “Let’s do this again sometime.”

Yohane struck a pose, grinning confidently. “Yes. The great Fallen Angel Yohane swears on her rule of the netherworld! That she will make the next time even more entertaining for her most trusted little demon.”

Dia chuckled, looking at Yohane adoringly. “I look forward to it.”

Yohane didn’t move as she felt a fluttering feeling in her stomach. They both lingered, not wanting this to be the end. Pulling herself away, Yohane opened the car door. “See ya.”

Dia echoed her words. “See ya.”

The car door shut, drawing the night to a close. Yohane headed back home, mind still buzzing despite the heavy weight of the dull unhappy life she was returning to.


	5. i did

Opening her eyes, Yohane recognized a ceiling that had become familiar. Through her headache, she recalled hazy memories of calling Dia last night. Begging and whining to be taken to the place she felt at home. Maybe it was better when she completely blacked out because remembering was embarrassing as hell. Yohane didn’t regard her own health as really all that important anyway.

Picking up her phone, she headed to the kitchen to see Dia was… Not up yet? Shrugging her shoulders she sat down and waited. 

After about twenty minutes she got bored. Creeping back upstairs Yohane saw a door was left just slightly open. Curiosity took hold. Peeking into the room she saw Dia, bundled up under the covers. She was sleeping peacefully and looked just adorable. 

Ripping her eyes from Dia, Yohane didn’t want to be anymore weird than she was already being. She headed to the bathroom, spotting two toothbrushes by the sink. Yohane tried not to think about it. It was probably Dia’s boyfriend because of course he stayed over a lot. That was a normal thing for couples to do.

When Yohane left the bathroom she almost bumped into a sleepy looking Dia whose hair was tied into two low pigtails. It was a new sight and Yohane couldn't help but think how adorable Dia looked as she stepped out the bathroom to let her pass.

“Morning Yohane-chan…” Dia mumbled. 

“Morning.” She shuffled awkwardly, not knowing what to say. This felt too dreamily domestic; it was almost painful. “Can I make you breakfast?”

Dia yawned. “Sure…” She headed into the bathroom and shut the door. 

Yohane quickly went down, wondering what to even make for Dia. What did she like? Also, where the fuck were things stored in the kitchen? Oh this was a terrible idea. Thinking logically, this was Dia who would value something nutritious. 

Deciding to just make her an omelette, Yohane searched for all the ingredients, hoping to make it at least a little bit close to adequate. If Dia didn’t like it then Yohane figured she could just eat it herself in utter shame and embarrassment.

When Dia came downstairs, Yohane started to get nervous. She’d already fucked up so much and she didn’t want making a simple breakfast to be added to that list. While wondering when the hell Dia was going to get tired of her, Yohane served the omelette. 

Dia seemed pleased by the gesture. After taking a bite, she grew delighted and Yohane felt the tension leave her shoulders. 

“This is good,” Dia commented, taking another bite. “You cook?”

“Kinda…? I learnt a little because growing up no one cared enough to actually feed me-” Yohane winced, not being able to figure out if that was a dark joke or if she actually wanted Dia to pity her more.

There was that same sad look on Dia’s face. It always came up when Yohane started talking about her shitty life. “I’m so sorry Yohane thats…”

A shrug. “It doesn’t matter. Don’t worry about it.”

“It… Does.... ” Her voice was heavy. “That shouldn't have happened. No one should go without food.”

“Plenty of cursed souls got an unluckier fate than mine...” Yohane held herself tightly. She didn’t like to think about this. It was much easier just to try and forget that no one cared about her. She laughed away whatever pain was starting to form and made a really lame joke to cover it up. “Also that sounds like a charity campaign motto… Maybe you should start one or something.”

Dia hummed, taking another bite of the omelette. “Maybe I will.”

“Right…”

Neither of them said another word about the subject. Yohane went to sit down only to have Dia shoot her a glare. “You’re not skipping. Make yourself something or I will.”

“Is that okay?” Yohane asked even though the answer was obvious. 

“Listen to me. Yohane, darling. I want you to be comfortable here. I don't want you to feel scared and like you have to double check everything.”

Mind stalling, Yohane focused on making another omelette to avoid acknowledging what Dia had just said. Why was Dia so good at making her feel like someone actually gave a shit about her? Ultimately, Yohane said nothing and ate in silence while Dia got out her laptop.

“Yohane…” Dia looked up from her laptop. “Do you want to come with me to Kyoto for the weekend? I know it’s sudden-”

“What?” Yohane blinked. 

“I’m going over to see my sister and I just… Thought I'd offer?”

“Can your boyfriend not make it or something?” Yohane mumbled under her breath. It was obvious she wasn’t the first person Dia would have asked. 

"He... Can't make it." Dia admitted.

Yohane shrugged. “Sure, why not? I’ll be his substitute…” She glanced at Dia, trying to judge her reaction. It was a bold joke and there was probably a hint of bitterness in her tone. 

Dia narrowed her eyes. “I’m getting the train Friday morning. Shall I pick you up from your house?”

“I’d have to check with my boss… Wait is Ruby-san okay with me going?”

A nod. “Yes. She will be fine with it.”

“I’m at work later today… I’ll ask my boss then. He, surprisingly, likes me so it should be fine.”

“Well that's not too surprising.” Dia smiled at her. “This will be a fun trip Yohane. I promise.”

“But I’m still the substitute right?”

“Look Yohane…” Dia sighed, pushing her laptop to the side. “I can’t give you what you want. I’m sorry about that, but I can be your friend. _That's it._ That's all I can be.”

Yohane winced. Yeah, hearing this hurt just a little bit. For some sad and pathetic reason she clung to wishful thinking. “What about when we almost kissed? Or when we danced together? Did you... Not feel anything?” 

A look of pain flashed across Dia’s face. “I’m sorry Yohane… I can’t-”

“That's not an answer.”

A tension filled the room, it took Yohane’s breath and rang in her ears.

“Fine!” Dia snapped, putting her head in her hands. “You want the answer? Of course I felt something.” She glanced back up at Yohane, tears were starting to form in her eyes.

“Dia…” Yohane reached in a desperate attempt to be reassuring. She stalled just before she touched Dia’s hand. Changing her mind, Yohane pulled away. Nothing she could do seemed adequate enough. Her mind paused.

“Now I have to deal with the fact I don't fucking love my boyfriend and my family will hate me. I took this all on so Ruby could live the life she wanted. I did everything perfectly…” Dia looked back up, shooting Yohane a sad smile through tears. “Then you came up to me in the bar, drunk and desperately needing help.”

Scratching behind her head, Yohane tried to crack a joke. “A wasted mess like me was what charmed you enough to stop pretending?”

“Yohane. You’re not a mess. No more than I am, that is…” There was a heavy sigh.

“Huh?”

Dia chuckled. A hopeless feeling enveloped them both as her laughter faded. “I’m the one who agreed to a life that makes me miserable. I… I suppose I knew I was gay when I started dating him. Or at least I had my suspicions- And I never really wanted the family business. Someone had to take it on and Ruby got contacted by her mentor after a lot of posting online and... I couldn’t take that from her.”

Yohane nodded. This time when she reached out, she actually held Dia’s hand. She held it tightly.

“I just wanted to make my family proud and make sure Ruby was happy…” Dia whimpered. Her body was faintly shaking. “Yohane I tried so hard… And I just can’t do it…”

Yohane got up from her seat, walking over. She wrapped her arms around Dia tightly. “You did so fucking well Dia…”

“I did?” Dia asked, tentatively relaxing into the hug.

Humming in agreement, Yohane smiled to herself. “You really did… God, Dia you are so incredible... I promise you did amazingly... But I think it's time for you to do what you want now. Your sister will be fine.”

“Really?”

“Yes.” Yohane chuckled. With how perfect Dia kept acting, Yohane guessed it was obvious she was going to come down sometime soon. Falling from grace was never painless. Yohane didn’t let her go. “You don’t have to pretend if you don’t want to.”

“Then… C-can you kiss me?” Dia asked. Then a second later she recoiled sharply. Dia cleared her throat and corrected her posture. “Wait. Forget I asked such a thing. I’m sorry-” 

“Don’t worry Dia. It’s okay.” Yohane gently kissed her forehead. She desperately wanted to kiss Dia’s lips until she forgot how to breathe. For now, while Dia was still with someone else, this was all Yohane could justify. 

Dia seemed to relax a little. She gathered up her composure and stood up on shaky legs. Dia, forever pragmatic, got herself a tissue and glass of water. Wiping her eyes, she pulled herself back together quicker than she fell apart. 

Dia smiled at Yohane. “Now darling, where do we go from here?”


	6. oh

The day of the Kyoto trip came quickly. Yohane got up early that friday morning and waited by the door. Her rucksack was packed almost to the brim with things she probably wouldn't need. Dia would be here to pick her up at any moment now. The last conversation they had was constantly on her mind. Yohane thought about how Dia had come to a standstill with a few mutterings about waiting. 

Hearing a car pull up, Yohane peeked out the window to see a familiar sight. She quickly left, racing up and climbing into the passenger’s seat. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Dia smiled at her before getting straight into planning. “We are heading back to mine then walking to the train station, right?”

Yohane nodded. She hadn't forgotten the plan but what she didn't understand was why Dia chose to arrange it this way. “Why didn't we just meet at the station?”

Dia turned her head away. Her next words were a faint mumble. “Because I wanted to start this journey with you…”

“Oh,” Yohane replied, not knowing how to answer. A tiny bit of blush rose to her cheeks as she thought about just how adorable Dia was. Those thoughts stopped when she remembered something important. “Did you talk to-”

Dia answered with a single interrupting sigh. 

“How did that go?” Yohane asked, flashing Dia a sympathetic smile.

“He… He guessed. He always knew something wasn’t right with our relationship…” Guilt was etched into Dia’s face. She tapped her fingers on the steering wheel as if to try and comfort herself with the repetitive notions. “It never felt anything like what I feel with you… Since I met you I was… Very distant towards him.”

“Oh.”

The car started. Yohane relaxed into the comfortable seat as her mind contemplated what Dia just said. It was everything she’d dreamed and fantasized about coming to reality. Yohane didn’t trust it. There was no way the universe would be that kind. There was no way Dia would really love a mess like her.

Wondering what Dia gained from all this, Yohane settled on the idea that she needed someone to help her break up with her boyfriend. That was exactly what just happened and Dia now had what she wanted. She’d soon get tired of her.

Staring out of the car window, Yohane watched trees roll by. 

The walk to the station was short. Ten minutes but it felt longer. Dia had all her things in a small red suitcase that rattled behind her as they walked. The entire way, Dia kept prompting Yohane to talk. She was quiet for some reason.

Finding their seats on the train, Yohane was surprised to be sitting in first class. It didn’t really make a difference to her but the extra leg room felt nice. Dia put her suitcase up in the overhead compartment. Yohane kept her rucksack with her like it was some sort of crutch. It was only when they both sat down on their seats and the train started moving that Yohane actually spoke. “You ever wish the train would keep going on forever? I’d like to stay here just looking out the window...” 

Dia flashed her a sympathetic look. She read into the depressing meaning to the words that even Yohane wasn’t aware of. “It’s a nice thought I suppose, but everything has to stop eventually… There’s things to see at each stop, though.”

“Right…” Yohane tentatively leaned her head on Dia’s shoulder. Expecting Dia to pull away or push her off, she was surprised when everything settled into place. She closed her eyes, humming contentedly. 

It was nice sitting with Dia like this.

Yohane, not realizing she had drifted off, opened her eyes sleepily. She sat up straight and blinked a few times before rolling her neck. It ached a little. Noticing, Dia flashed her a smile.

“How long was I asleep for?” Yohane asked.

“Not long, twenty minutes or so…”

“Sorry, sorry. I didn’t-”

“Yohane. You have nothing to apologize for.” Dia interrupted her. “I want you to feel comfortable with me. I told you, I don't want you to feel like you have to second guess everything.”

Yohane shuffled awkwardly in her seat. She glanced to the floor, focusing on her shoes. “Right… That's kinda hard though…”

“I know darling, but you can talk to me about anything.” Dia’s hand reached for Yohane’s, holding it tightly. “I want you to talk to me about things.”

The soft warmth in her voice sent a small shiver down Yohane’s spine. “Well…” She trailed off, hoping she could get away with not saying another word. She didn’t want to think about any bad stuff. Not now. Not ever. 

Dia seemed to understand. She flashed Yohane a sympathetic smile then changed the subject. “Can we go to Uji? I want to try and get some matcha.”

“Sure… I haven’t had any green tea in a while…”

“Yohane, you’ll have to try it! Uji blends are incredible. In fact… There are quite a few things I want to show you and try with you. I can’t wait for you to meet my sister as well. I may have mentioned you a few times…”

Yohane blinked in surprise. “You mentioned me?”

“Yes…” Dia cleared her throat. “Nothing bad, I promise.”

“There’s not much to talk about then, huh?” Yohane mumbled.

An arm was looped around her, pulling her into a hug. “I don’t want you saying things like that. That’s not true.”

Yohane slowly relaxed into the embrace. “Hey Dia…” There was a hum. Yohane closed her eyes as she said her next words. “You do love me right?”

“Yes.” Dia replied without a moment's hesitation. “I do love you.”

The saddest part about hearing that was how wrong it felt. Why couldn’t she believe Dia? Yohane asked herself this over and over in frustration. All she could think about was everyone eventually getting tired of her because she was a fucking mess.

She pulled away from Dia and stared out the window instead. 

“You… Love me too right?” Dia asked, her voice just above a whisper.

Shit. Yohane turned back to Dia. “Yeah. Of course I do. Dia?”

Dia’s lip was trembling before she started quietly sobbing in the seat next to hers. 

“Yohane, I’m fucking everything up. I feel terrible for what I’ve done and my family… They are going to hate me and-” She cut herself off, covering her mouth with her hand while screwing her eyes shut tight. “I need you.”

Yohane stared at her dumbfounded. She wanted to reassure Dia. Tell her she that she wasn’t fucking everything up and that no matter what she would be there for her. Instead, her mind stalled. 

Pushing herself not to fuck this one up, Yohane spoke. “I’m here. Dia, I promise I’m here.”

Things fell silent. One of the other passengers was subtly staring at them. Yohane realized they were probably quite the sight.

“Dia…” Yohane whispered, leaning in closer. “I love you too and fuck, I know I’m really shit at this but I’m here for you so…” She trailed off having no idea what else to say. “You can always lament to the great Fallen Angel Yohane…”

Dia chuckled, shooting Yohane a quick glance. She let out a heavy breath. Yohane passed her a tissue.

A second later, Dia was her usual self. Back ramrod straight and voice unwavering. The same old practiced perfect with only a red around her eyes as a distant echo of the pain she’d just been in. 

“I’m so sorry Yohane. I can’t believe I...”

Yohane laughed. It was finally her chance to give Dia a taste of her own medicine. “My darling Dia. You have nothing to apologize for.” 

Dia chuckled again. “I love you.”

“I love you too and… I’ll try my best to believe you so… Just…” Yohane trailed off. She had no idea how to explain what she wanted to say.

“You didn’t believe me?” 

Yohane shrugged. “It’s hard to believe anyone gives a shit about me…”

“I suppose it’s understandable you think that way.” There was a hint of anger to Dia’s tone. For some reason, it didn’t scare Yohane. Dia softened her expression. “I care about you though. You don’t have to believe it right away, but I will keep telling you this.”

“Right…”

Things fell silent. Yohane felt comfortable with it as she sat contemplating the words that had just been spoken. 


	7. how is

Arriving at the hotel, Yohane scanned their spacious room in awe. The only disappointing thing about this was the two single beds. Yohane had fantasized about sleeping next to Dia many times but unfortunately that wasn’t going to happen this trip. Yohane knew Dia was still trying to keep that distance between them while they waited for shit to calm down. It was just that anticipation was hard. Yohane was paranoid and waiting for things to go wrong because of her bad luck.

Dia seemed incredibly nonchalant about the whole waiting and luxury hotel room. 

The first thing Dia did was call her sister. Yohane took a shower while that happened, both to give them some privacy but also as an attempt to make sure she didn't look like shit. After finishing and begrudgingly turning the water off, Yohane dried herself. She brushed her teeth again and nervously tried to make her hair bun perfect. 

Okay, Yohane would admit it. The idea of meeting Dia’s sister scared the shit out of her. Ruby being apprenticed under a talented seamstress was extremely impressive. Guessing she must be quite capable, Yohane hoped Ruby was not also judgemental. If she was anything like Dia, this would probably go terribly.

Yohane wondered what exactly Dia had told Ruby about their relationship and her train wreck of a life. Finding no answer, she finished up in the bathroom and walked back into the room, flopping down on one of the beds. “What’s the plan today o’ darling little demon?” 

“Ruby wants to meet up at a cafe not far from here in…” Dia checked her wrist watch. “About half an hour.”

“Oh…” Yohane looked at Dia nervously. “Uhhh she’s not gonna like… Dislike me because I’m a fucking mess and you definitely deserve better?”

A click of the tongue. “Don’t say things like that. You know that’s not true.”

“I mean it is?” Yohane shrugged. Dia wasn’t going to get her to stop hating herself no matter how hard she tried. It was impossible but the way Dia apparently cared enough to give it a go anyway was really sweet. 

“She’s going to love you.” Words spoken with confidence. Dia stood up and walked over to Yohane’s bed. She sat down next to her and their shoulders brushed. “I’m sure of it.”

“If you say so… Should we get going?”

“Then we will be early? Exact punctuality is important-”

“Dia.” Yohane interrupted her. Standing up she stretched then turned back to Dia exasperated. “Everyone shows up early. You want to see her as soon as possible right?”

Dia nodded.

“Then let's go.” Yohane offered her hand to Dia who hesitantly took it. A second later, Dia was pulled to her feet.

After gathering her things together, Yohane slipped her boots on and grabbed her favorite black bomber jacket. “Are you sure you don’t want to catch up with your sister first? I feel like I’m overstepping in some way...”

Dia shook her head, holding the room key in her hand. “You’re not.”

“Right…” 

Yohane came to stand by Dia. The two of them left the hotel to walk through the streets of Kyoto. Peering around, Yohane couldn’t help but want to experience more of the city. She spotted a white cat wandering down an alleyway and smiled to herself. Normally her eyes were always downcast, studying the tarmac directly below her and hoping it would swallow her up. 

Why did Dia make everything, even just walking around, a bit more exciting?

The cafe they were supposed to meet Ruby at was rather large. Dia pushed the door open and they stepped inside. The interior had a western homely feel to it with warm wooden aesthetics. A small amount of plants were nestled comfortably into the corners.

Dia raced forwards, making a beeline to one of the booths at the far wall. She enveloped a small girl with red pigtails in a massive hug. Yohane trailed behind, lingering awkwardly as she watched this intimate scene play out.

“Ruby, it’s so great to see you!” Dia let go of her.

“It’s great to see you too, Dia! Even if t-this was a bit sudden… You don’t normally ask to come see me so suddenly…”

Dia chuckled, a hint of nervousness in the lows of her laugh. “I know but I missed my adorable little sister! I hope springing this on you wasn’t too much?”

Ruby shook her head. “It’s fine. It’s nice to see you.”

Dia turned her attention back to Yohane, grabbing at her hand and pulling her forward. “This is Yohane. Tsushima Yohane.”

Standing there right in front of Ruby, hand in hand with Dia, Yohane’s shoulders tensed up. She tried to act as confident as possible but it was difficult. “H-hello there.”

“It’s n-nice to finally meet you Yohane-san…” Ruby’s eyes scanned between them, lingering on the way they were holding hands. She lowered her voice so no one else could overhear. “You’re my sister's now girlfriend r-right?”

“It’s… A little more complicated than that.” Dia answered, looking down at the floor.

“No wonder you wanted to come see me...” Ruby flashed Dia a smile. “W-why don’t I order you two drinks?”

“My usual, please?” Dia said as she slid into the booth Ruby had just been sitting at.

Yohane joined her, sitting down next to Dia. She made sure there was some distance between them. “Can I get tea?”

Ruby nodded, walking over to the counter to order. 

Dia shuffled closer. “I’m sorry for putting you in this situation… It was bad planning on my part.”

“You wanted to see your sister because you’re stressed out? I get it.” Yohane flashed her a smile. It faded a moment later. “You planned to go with him first though, right?”

“Yes… Sorry. I just thought if I could see my sister and if I could have a nice trip with him everything would be fine and-”

Sighing softly, Yohane rested her head on Dia’s shoulder.

“I’m glad it’s you…” Dia mumbled. 

Ruby returned a second later, staring at them awkwardly. Yohane quickly sat up and tried to pretend they were not just doing that. 

“Dia…” Ruby got both her sister’s and Yohane’s attention. “W-what did y-you mean when you said… Things were m-more complicated between you two?” 

“Well…” Dia tried to act sure of herself. It wasn’t clear who out of the three of them she was trying to convince. “Given the current situation we thought it best to wait…” She took the lead in starting the next conversation. “Anyway… How is the apprenticeship going? I saw your latest cosplay you posted yesterday and Ruby it was amazing.”

“T-thank you. That one took me around fifty hours? It was mostly a personal project but my mentor wanted to teach me a few techniques and this was practice.” She had a proud looking smile on her face. 

Yohane shot Ruby a smile. “Dia showed me your account. You’re so talented. The fine details you do are truly impressive and divine.”

“Thank you. I always do my Rubesty!” She turned to Yohane. “I haven’t seen much, but I did catch a few bits of your streams and they were very cool.”

“Kukukuku.” Deepening her voice, Yohane puffed out her chest and she struck a devilish pose. “The great Yohane-sama is pleased by your praise, little demon.” She shuffled her feet, not knowing what to say. It was hard to handle this.

“How’s Maru?” Dia asked.

“She’s good! We talked last night. She said she’s very bored these days but apparently her and Kanan-chan started stargazing together regularly.”

Dia tensed slightly. “And how is Kanan-san?”

“Maru said she’s doing okay… Still working at the diving shop...” Ruby looked down, staring at the table as things stilled for a moment. “And that she misses us both.”

A noncommittal hum. “Is that so.”

Yohane reached for Dia’s hand under the table only to get no reaction. The mood instantly dipped. A cafe employee brought their drinks over and then scuttled away as soon as he could. Yohane blew on her tea. This wasn't going all that well. Yohane sought a brief respite in her drink which was very unfortunately non-alcoholic.

Dia pushed the conversation forwards. “I will one day sort this mess between me and her but for now I’m focusing on sorting about a million other things.” She glanced quickly at Yohane. “Things have… Changed a lot recently…”

“I can imagine…” Ruby flashed her a supportive smile. “I’m happy for you, Dia.” A second later a harsh glare that could only come from a Kurosawa was trained on Yohane. “Take good care of my sister, okay?”

Unfaltering, Yohane replied. “I will.”


	8. so

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit of a heavy chapter so I do wanna warn people and point to the trigger warnings again to say a new one has been added. Thanks for reading this far and I promise this chapter has something just about exciting enough to keep it not so totally miserable,,, Probably

After spending some time at the cafe with Ruby, the day faded into night.  Once Ruby was reassured Yohane would always look out for Dia, she became a lot more relaxed.  Yohane understood why Ruby was so anxious about her though. All of this was rather sudden and Dia’s life had been turned upside down in a matter of weeks. Yohane was the cause. She had to remind herself that all this upheaval would, maybe, be a good thing...

The first few awkward conversations had warmed up. It had ended with the three of them laughing as they shared stories and talked about anything that came to mind. Yohane was surprised by how much she liked Ruby. She was very shy but easy to talk to.

Sadly it got later and the three of them realized they had spent a ridiculous amount of time in this one cafe. Ruby bid them a farewell, suggesting vague plans of hanging out again tomorrow. Some talk about a restaurant and going to catch a movie. Yohane looked forward to it.

Dia wore an absolutely delighted smile on her face as they started to head back to the hotel. Seeing her sister had reassured Dia a lot and given her a new confidence. 

Instead of going back straight away, Dia suggested they walk around Kyoto a little and despite it being pointless and cold, Yohane was happy to wander with her. Coming to a bridge over a small river, Dia paused in the middle of crossing it. She stared out at the water, resting her arms on the brick wall.

Yohane came to stand besides her. “Something wrong?”

“It’s pretty.”

Following Dia’s gaze, Yohane looked at the view and shrugged. “I guess so.” She focused on Dia instead and noticed the way she was shivering. “Cold?”

“Are you going to offer to give me your jacket or something?” Her eyes were elsewhere, still focused on something in the distance.

“If you want it, yeah…?”

Dia sighed. “Then you’ll be cold. This isn’t a viable solution.”

“I don’t really care. I don’t want you to be cold and anyway I have a good tolerance for it.”

Dia turned her head to give Yohane a questioning look. “What does that mean?” 

“I don’t know I just don’t really get all that cold…? Look Dia just take the jacket.” Yohane didn’t let her say no as she gently draped it over Dia. It was a little chilly but Yohane could handle it. “Better?”

“Much.” Dia hummed as she actually put the jacket on and snuggled herself into it. She looked to Yohane and smiled.

Things stilled for a moment and it settled comfortably. The gentle sound of running water hummed.

“Dia…” Yohane whispered. “Can I kiss you?” 

A flash of surprise. “Here? In public? Also I thought we were giving it time?”

“I don’t…” Yohane looked down at her feet. “I don’t mind waiting but sometimes…”

“I understand that…” Dia looked around nervously for signs of life. There was nobody else around that either of them could see. Letting out a shaky breath, Dia whispered her next words. “I suppose one quick kiss couldn’t hurt…”

There was a blush rising to Dia’s cheeks. A nervous desiring softness to her eyes. Yohane closed the distance and kissed Dia. 

Pulling away a second later, Yohane smiled. “How was that?”

Dia’s mouth opened just slightly as she searched for something to say. Instead of letting her speak, Yohane pressed their lips together again. Still a gentle kiss but this time, Yohane didn’t want it to end so soon. Dia kissed back with a faint passion. It grew each moment.

Arms were wrapped around Yohane, pulling her closer. She was happy to melt into the warm embrace. Tentatively, she slipped her tongue inside Dia’s mouth. Dia gently swirled her own tongue around Yohane’s. 

Separating with a shaky breath, Yohane wanted more. She quickly kissed Dia again and pressed her tongue to her lips. The kiss deepened, Yohane moaned into it as she started to explore Dia’s mouth. Every instant she felt Dia this close was heavenly.

When they pulled away again it had a note of finality. Yohane left one last lingering kiss on Dia’s mole.

Dia buried her face into Yohane’s chest. Her words were muffled. “That… Wasn’t quick…”

“Sorry, Sorry.” She held onto Dia tightly. “Dia- My darling Dia… I love you.”

A soft mumble. “I love you too.”

“We should get back…” 

“Yeah…” Dia replied, not moving as she lingered in Yohane’s arms.

“When we’re back at the hotel… Uhhh…” Yohane trailed off not knowing how to talk about this. “Do you think things might escalate?” 

“D-do you want it to?” Dia asked. Between all the apprehension, there was a mix of excitement.

Yohane shrugged. “I-I guess? I’m kind of…” She trailed off. Talking was never easy, even if Dia was the person who she felt she could open up to the most. That didn’t stop the lump forming in Yohane’s throat as her shoulders tensed.

“Talk to me.” Dia looked up giving Yohane an adoring smile.

“I… Don’t know what im doing and I’ve got a dumb complex about… Being used just for that kinda stuff? Not that you would- It’s just…”

Dia gently caressed Yohane’s cheek, giving her a sympathetic look. “It’s okay. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. I understand.”

“I don’t want to, but I think I should…” 

Yohane stared, nervous, but Dia just waited patiently for her to continue. 

“I thought…” Yohane shifted her gaze to the river water. It was a bit too much to look directly at Dia. “Maybe that kinda thing would get someone to actually care about me… I uhhh…” Her composure faulted as she started shaking. “I tried it and… Well I learnt my lesson for being  _ so fucking dumb _ when I got uncomfortable and he wouldn’t stop touching me-” She cut herself off sharply. 

Yohane felt sick. Screwing her eyes shut tight, she wished she could just stop thinking. Forever.

“Yohane…” Dia interrupted her thoughts with an absolute horror and dull hatred in her voice. “That’s awful… I am  _ so _ sorry. And Yohane you were  _ not  _ dumb. You did nothing wrong.”

She shook her head. She was always going to blame herself. No one seemed to understand that though so Yohane got used to pretending she believed them. 

“Thanks and...” Yohane laughed. She already wanted to stop thinking about this. Ideas of the only way she could possibly imagine how, flashed through her mind in a bloody picture show. Wincing, she pushed them aside and opened up to Dia once more. “I may feel suicidal tonight. It always happens when I think about… Well pretty much anything that fucking happened in my miserable and unlucky life…” Yohane found herself shivering. From the cold or from stress, she didn’t know. “Most of the time I try to drink instead of thinking.”

Dia was silent. She grasped at Yohane tightly. “Oh darling… I’m so sorry.”

Yohane felt tears start to form in the corner of her eyes. “I don’t want to get worried about... I don’t want that complex ruining things between us.”

“It won’t,” Dia replied confidently. “I’d never do that to you Yohane. And, I’m happy to wait until you feel comfortable.”

Yohane let out a shaky breath. Her hands grasped at the fabric of the familiar bomber jacket Dia was borrowing. “You’re so nice to me… I can’t handle it-”

“Get used to it.” Her voice was stern. “You deserve nothing less so I want you to get used to it.”

“I’ll try…” 

“Good...” Dia hummed. She let things lull slowly. In the silence, the running water below became an accompaniment for Yohane’s heavy breaths. Gently kissing Yohane's forehead, Dia spoke softly. “I love you. You’re so fucking amazing, Yohane.”

A shake of her head. Yohane whined something into Dia’s chest. She could feel when Dia simply chuckled in reply. After a few more tender moments, Dia pulled away and reached for Yohane’s hand. She held it tightly. “Let’s get back. We’ve been on this bridge for like half an hour now.”

“Okay…” Yohane mumbled as she let Dia lead the way. 

The entire walk, she focused on the way Dia’s hand held her own. The way she didn’t let go and sometimes gave reassuring little squeezes. Yohane thought about how nice it was and without a word, they got back to their hotel room.

Dia broke the hazy silence. “Do you want to sleep here with me?” She gestured to her bed.

Yohane nodded. “If that’s okay?”

“It may be a little cramped.” Dia chuckled, pulling Yohane into another hug. “How are you feeling?”

Shrugging Yohane replied honestly. “I’m not really feeling anything…”

There was another soft kiss. Dia ended up smiling into it. She pulled away and whispered her next words with a tenderness Yohane had never heard before. “I’m here for you. If you need anything at all, please… Just let me know.”

She simply nodded. If she used words, they would be woefully inadequate. After a long pause, Yohane finally said something. “Same goes to you…” 

It was so hard to believe anyone cared about her but Yohane promised she would try for Dia. 


	9. i mean

Waking up the next day, Yohane was shocked to see Dia there. She was sitting up, using a pillow propped against the wall as a backrest as she typed things on her laptop. 

“Morning…” Yohane yawned.

“Morning, Yohane-chan.” Dia typed a few a little more before closing her laptop. “Did you sleep well?” 

That loving smile on Dia’s face made Yohane’s heart flutter. Sitting up and ignoring the way she was starting to blush, Yohane rubbed her eyes. “Yeah… I did.” She stretched then dangled her legs off the bed. “One sec. Gotta pee.” She grabbed a change of clothes and headed into the bathroom to freshen up and get ready for the day. 

When she returned, Dia was dressed, packing her bag for later. She glanced back at Yohane. “Let’s get some breakfast. This hotel is said to have some amazing food.”

“Isn’t it expensive?” Yohane asked as she started to feel guilty about how much all this was costing Dia. 

“It is,” Dia replied, the tiniest smug smile on her face. “But it’s all inclusive and I don’t mind. I want you to have fun.”

“This is… Not what I'm used to.” Yohane laughed dryly, picking her backpack up from where it was resting on the back of a chair. “Alright. Let’s go.”

“Wait…” Dia moved to quickly kiss Yohane. As she pulled away a tiny splash of blush lingered on her cheeks. “Now I’m ready.”

“R-right.” Yohane scratched behind her head awkwardly. This was  _ really  _ hard to get used to.

Dia said nothing more, she grabbed the keys and the two headed down to the hotel’s restaurant. As they ate, they discussed today’s plans. Ruby couldn’t meet up till later this evening, giving Yohane and Dia some free time to explore the city.

Dia suggested they visit Fushimi Inari Taisha and a famous tea shop in Uji. Yohane wanted to see Kyoto tower and the shōtengai shopping district. They chose an itinerary of things to do, then the two of them caught a train and started their tour through Kyoto.

Walking through the shopping district, Yohane spotted a spiritual shop and begged Dia to let her visit it, promising she’d only be quick. Dia chuckled, happy to come in with her and take a look around.

Yohane pushed the door open, a bell rang. The thick smell of incense hit them sharply and clung to skin. Yohane was used to this from the many different holistic stores she had been into. Dia scrunched up her nose as it was a bit too intense for her. A woman behind the counter welcomed them in with a smile.

Wandering around, Yohane glanced past pretty tarot cards, hoping one called out to her. None of them did and Yohane guessed buying a new set from Kyoto was not meant to be. She liked to wait till the universe called her to something in these kinds of stores. Anything she felt that strong connection to was fate drawing her to her destiny. Items she had that with were always a lot more accurate in results. It was just unlucky that most of the time she had to ignore that pull because of the price.

With no tarot sets calling to her, Yohane went over to the shop’s extensive collection of crystals. Her eyes landed on an obsidian pendulum and she couldn’t look away. “Dia. Look how pretty this is.”

Dia walked up to her and stared at what Yohane was pointing too. “Oh?”

“I’m gonna get it.” Yohane carefully picked up the pendulum, feeling how perfect the weight was she smiled. “Yep. Definitely getting this.”

“That’s a pendulum right?” Dia asked, staring at the others on display. 

Yohane hummed a yes, wandering over to see what astronomical things the store had. There were a fair few star maps, books on things like astrology, the moon cycles and astronomy. Some charms relating to birthstones, Yohane scanned through but nothing resonated.

One cute thing this store sold was small plastic cards with a single constellation on them. Yohane noted it as a cool idea and nothing more but Dia seemed to linger on one of them. A fox made of stars over a minor constellation with ‘Vulpecula’ written below in a white and shiny font. Yohane picked it up to get a better look and Dia scowled. 

“Something wrong?” Yohane asked, nervously putting the card back. 

“It’s nothing.” Dia raised her chin up and turned away. 

Having no idea what was happening, Yohane stood there wishing Dia would talk to her. It was obviously something to do with the card but she couldn't figure out what. Not wanting to let this low mood mix with the heavy weight of incense and ruin the day, Yohane made her way to the counter.

She bought the pendulum, thanking the employee and making small talk before she smiled at Dia. “Wanna' see what other shops there are?” 

Dia nodded and the two of them returned to the shopping district. They wandered along. At some point they ended up holding hands.

As they walked, Yohane figured she would try being a little more daring. She wanted to know what was on Dia’s mind. “Why did Vulpecula bother you so much?”

“Fine.” Dia sighed, yanking her hand away and coming to a stand still. “It was Kanan’s favorite constellation. Well, one of them. I thought about her and it made me sad. Are you happy you know now, Yohane?” 

Yohane’s shoulders tensed up. It always scared her so much when Dia put a bit more force behind her voice. “Don’t yell at me…” Yohane mumbled, bracing herself for the reaction to such words.

“Shit… I’m sorry.” Dia reached out to gently caress Yohane’s cheek. Yohane flinched away in her paranoia. There was a flash of hurt but Dia accepted it and instead smiled softly. “I’m sorry Yohane. I shouldn’t let my frustrations get the better of me. I promise I will be more careful... What can I do to make up for it?”

“It’s alright, don’t worry about it.” Yohane said instinctively, without regard to her personal feelings. Dia was giving her a reassuring look that read, ‘are you really sure?’ and Yohane felt a part of her heart ache. “Wait…” She whispered nervously, judging Dia’s every move for signs of hostility. When none came Yohane spoke again. “Can, you listen to what I suggest?”

“Sure.” Dia smiled at her.

“Without getting mad?”

“I won't. I promise,” Dia spoke confidently, slowly reaching her hand out to hold Yohane’s. 

She let her. Enjoying the touch, Yohane took a breath in and deepened her voice. “My little demon, let me tell you the ways of the universe. Fate drew your eyes upon Vulpecula. You should follow with abandon to where it’s dark and powerful forces lead you.”

Dia took a breath to steady herself. “You’re saying I should make up with Kanan-san…?”

“Coincidences don’t happen. Not with magic. I’m sure this is what you’re meant to do.”

“Someday soon… I will. I promise. For now will you just let me stubbornly ignore fate lapping at my heels a little bit longer?” 

Yohane chuckled, flashing Dia a warm smile. “I’ve always enjoyed ignoring my problems so I get that.”

“Great. Glad we agree. Now can you stop pestering me about it?”

Yohane nodded. She started walking, tugging Dia along with her. The mood improved as they wandered down past more shops. A large jewelry store up ahead caught Dia’s eye, she now started pulling Yohane along. Everything was so bright and refined. Yohane winced, Dia looked right at home as she perused over some necklaces. 

The prices all made Yohane’s eyes widen. She’d seen worse but it was insane to think about someone just casually coming in on a whim and spending so much. Prices really did have different values to rich people.

Some simple silver necklaces seemed to catch Dia’s eye. She hummed to herself, almost transfixed. One of the employees walked up to them, asking if they needed any help. Dia shook her head but thanked them anyway. Then she went back to staring at the wares.

Yohane got curious, she stepped away and looked around the rest of the shop. She was amazed at just how large this place was. Resting in a display case that was tucked into the corner. Yohane spotted a tiny blue sapphire pendant at the end of a thin silver chain. It was beautiful and Dia would absolutely love it. Looking back, Dia was still engrossed with something else at the other end of the store.

Quickly she told the nearest staff member that she was interested in buying one of their necklaces. She went through the purchase process, looking at Dia the entire time and hoping she didn’t notice.  When the necklace was in a box in a little gift bag that was stuffed into her rucksack Yohane let out a sigh of relief. It was slightly hysterical how Dia didn’t spot her that entire time but she was glad it was going to stay a surprise. 

Coming to stand by Dia, Yohane smiled at her. “Find anything nice?”

Dia shook her head. “No… Not really. I mean, nothing that stands out…”

“Oh.” Yohane replied. It was hard to keep her excitement about the whole gift thing out of her voice.

“I suppose it’s no matter. Let’s keep walking.”

“You sure?” 

Dia nodded and the two of them left the jewelry shop. Each step she took, Yohane found herself thinking more and more about the gift resting safely in her bag. She couldn’t wait to give it to Dia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Vulpecula was a highkey reference to this fantastic fic that i think everyone should read :>>  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/25209385


	10. let's go

Yohane saw a building that was nostalgically familiar up ahead. It had been quite a while since she last went into an arcade. As a child, Yohane used to spend hours in this one close by where she grew up in Numazu. The place also had a bowling alley and restaurant and so long as she bought a soda, they didn’t mind letting Yohane just sit for an hour or two at one of the tables in the corner next to a plug socket to charge her phone.

It was sometimes a good place to escape the usual turbulence of her family.

Arcades always meant a lot to Yohane for that reason, but she didn’t like talking about that. (Not that anyone cared enough to listen.) Instead, the reason was ‘because they are fun’ and also that she was ‘good at arcade games’ even if she wasn’t.

“Can we go to the arcade?” Yohane asked, turning to Dia and giving her a pleading look.

“Do you want to?” Dia hesitated for a moment before sighing, an exasperated smile appearing on her face. “Okay fine. Just for a bit.”

Beaming with excitement, Yohane dragged her inside. Lights flashed and an electric plinking of ten different games overlapping each other buzzed through Yohane’s mind. There was a faint smell of some kinda fast food mixed with lingering cigarette smoke. A little grosser than the one back in Numazu but Yohane didn’t care. She was in an arcade and that was enough to make her happy.

Wandering around she browsed through the itinerary of games to play all at her disposal. Glancing back at Dia, Yohane hoped she wasn’t too out of her element. The little smile on her face as Dia stared enthusiastically at everything told Yohane she was doing just fine. 

They passed by an air hockey table. It was a classic and a staple to any arcade trip. Definitely one of the safest bets for a first game. Yohane shot Dia a look before she grabbed one of the strikers. “Want to play?” 

“Fine.” Dia hid her excitement well as she headed to the opposite end of the table.

Slipping in a coin, Yohane started the game and launched the puck forwards. Dia’s mouth opened in surprise as she moved quickly to hit it back. Sharp clinks as the puck bounced around manically. Yohane moved a fraction of a second too late and it landed in her goal. Dia cheered.

Firing the puck with a fast lunge, Yohane hit it straight back into Dia’s goal. She grinned, going off on a rambling amount the powers of a Fallen Angel. While she was distracted, Dia scored another point. Offended by such a disrespectful move to none other than a dark deity like herself, Yohane knew it was time to get serious. 

The game ended. 

Dia won by one single point that Yohane grumbled at. She muttered something about being unlucky and cursed but Dia just took her hand and thanked her for playing. Blushing slightly, Yohane had no choice but to be a good sport. 

Strolling around the rest of the arcade, Yohane ignored the rigged claw machines. Even if the plushies inside were adorable and would go perfectly with her others. It just was not worth it. She glanced over at two Dance Dance Revolution machines and grinned. The night she visited the nightclub with Dia and Mari came to mind. That was one of the most fun things she had ever done. Repeating that in some way was ideal. 

“Hey, Dia. Dance with me?” She gestured to the DDR machine.

“Only if I get to pick the song.” Dia teased.

“Fine.” Yohane grumbled, stepping up on the platform. She waited for Dia to choose what they were dancing too. It wasn’t too much of a surprise when she looked for idol songs. Dia picked one by an old group called μ's and got ready.

The song started up. Yohane hadn't ever heard it before but it had a very fun beat. She stepped in time with the music and game’s commands. Midway through she glanced over to see Dia had an insanely high score and every step was a ‘perfect’. As the music faded out, Dia beat Yohane with ease and also every other person who’d ever played that song on the machine. Her name sat proudly at the top of the all time high scores board.

“How?” Yohane asked, slack jawed. 

Dia gave her a little wink. “I like DDR and I’m a good dancer.”

“Can’t argue with that.” Yohane chuckled. She’d have to get them both to play something she was actually good at and _soon._ Otherwise she’d lose what little pride she had left after all the times she’d troubled Dia with her mess of a life. 

Spotting a shooter game with zombies plastered on the side of the cabinet, Yohane decided that would be her chance. She took one of the guns and pointed it at Dia. “Bang.”

“How mature.” Dia rolled her eyes, coming to stand by Yohane and picking up the other gun. She sighed before slotting a coin in and starting up the machine.

Terrible 3D models of zombies moved around on the screen with painful sounding moans. Yohane and Dia had to get through the levels working together. Yohane was a sharp shot, hitting each zombie quickly and cleanly. Dia was on the other hand struggling. Yohane took extra care to shoot the zombies closest to Dia’s character to keep her alive. She wouldn’t want one of her little demons to die after all. Especially not her darling Dia.

Sadly they did both die in the end but Yohane got a very high score, one that doubled Dia’s. Dia congratulated her lovingly, telling her she did a good job. Yohane got embarrassed and whined before ignoring Dia and just heading over to a Mario Kart racing game. She sat down on the chair and felt herself relax slightly. It seems even fake car seats had the same effects on Yohane.

Dia came to join her, sitting on the seat next to hers. “Are we playing?”

“Do you want to?” Yohane asked her.

Dia nodded. “It looks fun.”

“Then let's go.” 

Just as Yohane was about to put in a coin and start the game up, Dia called out. “Wait… Just… Before we play this one. I want to thank you, so far today has been really fun.”

“I promised my little demon a good time and that's what I'm going to give her. Anyway, now I’m going to kick your butt in Mario Kart.” 

Waiting for the traffic lights, Yohane pressed her foot down on the peddle. A whistle blew and the race started. Flying forwards, Yohane got to second place. She nimbly turned around corners and almost into the lead. Dia was hot on her heels. Yohane narrowly dodged a shell that was thrown by none other than the woman sitting next to her who currently had a wide and slightly cheeky grin. 

Yohane was going to enjoy rubbing this win right in Dia’s face.

Overtaking and getting herself into first place, Yohane smirked. She could keep up this pace and keep her lead so long as Dia played nicely. She didn’t of course, but she couldn’t land a hit on Yohane.

Claiming her first place victory, she gave Dia a smug looking smile. 

Dia congratulated her before leaning her head back. “I think that's enough arcades for me. I’m done. If you need anything I'll be napping here on the Mario Kart racing game chair.”

Yohane chuckled. “What do you want to do?”

“We should get lunch and then… You wanted to go up Kyoto tower, right?”

“Right!” Yohane beamed at her excitedly. “You know… I’ve always loved high places. Makes me feel safer and more connected to the heaven I fell from.” Dia seemed to magically make her comfortable enough to talk about herself like this.

Dia chuckled. “Alright. Sounds like a plan. And... High places fit the great Fallen Angel Yohane-sama perfectly.”

“You think?” Yohane giggled before standing up from the chair and stretching a little. “Let’s go!”


	11. easier

Lunch ended up being fast food that Dia complained about the entire time. Something about it being very unhealthy but she still ate it anyway just with a slight scowl. Yohane found it adorable. Afterwards, they wandered leisurely towards Kyoto Tower. On the way, Yohane browsed the windows of a few more shops but found nothing of interest.

When they arrived at the tower, Dia bought them tickets at a kiosk. The elevator ride upwards was sort of cramped. Yohan had her back to the wall and Dia ended up being pushed against her. They both faintly blushed, trying to hide the awkwardness as they waited. 

A tour guide talked about some facts of the tower but Yohane couldn’t focus on them.

The elevator reached the observation deck and there was finally a chance to breathe. It lasted a second before the views took her breath away. Yohane stared in an excited awe at what Kyoto looked like from above. 

“Like it?” Dia asked, coming to stand by Yohane. 

“Yes!” Yohane excitedly started to walk around, curious as to what the rest of the city looked like from up in the heavens.

Dia followed behind her, enjoying pointing to famous things and learning more about them from the informational placards. Yohane on the other hand just enjoyed the experience of being so high and seeing cool sights.

After they wandered around once, Yohane stopped and looked at Dia instead. “Hey.” 

“What is it?” Dia answered. 

“I have a gift for you,“ Yohane mumbled while reaching into her bag and finding the necklace she bought before. Pulling out the little gift bag, Yohane held it out with a smile. “Here.”

Dia stared at her surprised for a moment before tentatively taking the gift. She opened up the bag and the box. Her lips curled up into a shocked but delighted smile. “Yohane, this is so pretty… You shouldn’t have…”

Yohane shrugged. “I wanted to get you something nice. You’ve done so much for me anyway it was about fucking time. It’s a sapphire. A wisdom stone that represents truth. It helps with mental clarity and stuff like that… I can store some energy in it when it’s the next full moon if you like…” She glanced up at Dia and smiled nervously. “I just hoped it would maybe help you now with all the shit that's going on.”

Dia melted right then and there. “Fuck waiting… Yohane, I want you.”

Face red, Yohane squeaked in a high pitched voice. “W-what? Dia what are you-” She cut herself off and instead forced an attempt at a reply. “I-if you're sure? I’d be happy to.”

Dia chuckled, a furious blush on her cheeks. “I’m sure.”

“Okay…” Yohane trailed off, scratching behind her head. “Now what?”

“That’s not a very romantic thing to say,” Dia said, rolling her eyes with a smile.

Yohane shrugged. “I first met you black out drunk in a bar and apparently cried on you… I’m not too sure what you were expecting. I’m kind of a mess.”

Dia linked her arm with Yohane. “No you’re not, and I never once minded. Now, come on. We should get going.”

“Why?” Yohane asked before pulling out her phone and realising the time. “Oh, right. We have to meet Ruby soon.”

“I do hope you will both be able to get along somewhat…”

“Dia, there’s no need to be so formal.” Yohane grinned. “Quit worrying. She’s great and it’s nice.”

There was a short relieved sigh. “I’m glad.”

“I guess you’re gonna have to introduce me as your g-girlfriend this time… Right?”

Dia lifted her chin up proudly. “Yes. I am going to do exactly that.”

They left Kyoto tower and walked to what sounded like a high class restaurant. This life of luxury was something Yohane was never going to get used to. Still, Dia held her hand and pulled her forwards, muttering something about how she did not want to be late. Yohane wanted to tell her to relax and they had at least another twenty minutes spare but she held her tongue. 

She let herself be led all the way to their table. Ruby greeted them with a smile and they ordered their meals. Conversations were light until Dia tried to casually drop the fact she and Yohane had started dating. Ruby congratulated them before teasing her lightly. Then the evening carried on like normal. One again, Yohane felt a little out of her depth but this was for Dia and she was more than happy to do anything for Dia.

She ended up pulling Dia into a nightclub with her on the way back to the hotel. They danced to a few songs and Yohane had one to many drinks. Not too many but enough that she was really drunk and Dia had to call a cab to take them back. Patient as ever, Dia helped the stumbling mess that was called Yohane up to their hotel room.

“Want to sleep in my bed again?” Dia asked while putting Yohane’s phone on charge.

Yohane nodded. She was pulled into bed and into a loving embrace. Things stilled but Yohane felt restless. Breaking the serene silence, Yohane spoke. “Sorry,” she mumbled, burying her head into the crook of Dia’s neck. “I feel like I always fuck up in someway. I don’t get how you stand me.”

“Oh darling, listen to me.” Dia’s arms wrapped around Yohane tighter. “You didn’t fuck up at all? I had a wonderful day today… One I'm going to remember forever.” Dia trailed off before finding her next words. “Also, you are quite tolerable… Though maybe I have a lot of patience thanks to Mari.”

“Right, right.” Yohane chuckled. She took some reassurance in Dia’s words, although not much.

“Really Yohane.” Dia pulled away, tilting Yohane’s chin up to look her in the eyes. “I don’t mind.”

“You’re like, kinder than all of heaven’s angels…” Yohane glanced away, needing to focus on anything but those affectionate eyes. “Seriously Dia, I don’t get it.”

Dia turned to lie on her back, staring up at the ceiling. “When I was younger I used to be a lot harsher, it drove a wedge between me and my sister. It’s one of my biggest regrets and probably the reason why I sacrificed so much of my life so Ruby could follow her dreams…” A heavy sigh stretched out. “I’ve always just wanted the best for people and to see them grow into what they could be... I just get very frustrated when incompetence keeps them down. Both the world’s incompetence and theirs. I thought for so long that nothing ever changes and nothing ever gets better…” 

Yohane waited patiently for Dia to continue. She debated holding her hand but decided against it.

“My failing relationship with Kanan and Mari is a good example, I suppose…”

She changed her mind. Yohane reached for Dia’s hand, holding it firmly as her flimsy way of showing she was there. “Dia…” Her words failed her.

“Yohane, when I met you. Things started changing… I-I don’t know if that makes sense? A lot has happened and it’s been so overwhelming but… I’m glad.” There was an unwavering confidence to her voice.

“I get that…” Yohane smiled to herself. “My life is so much better now I’ve met you…”

“You know…” Dia pulled her into a hug. “In a way… You’re proof that I can change things…”

“So  _ you do _ get off to helping me!” Yohane teased, wrapping her arms around Dia tightly.

“No.” Dia sighed. Yohane imagined she was probably rolling her eyes right now then smiling straight after. She kissed Dia quickly so she wasn’t too annoyed at the joke. Dia kissed back then pulled away to protest. “I just want to help others- That's it okay!”

“Dia. I get it. I’m teasing.” 

“Anyway…” Dia collected her thoughts. “What I'm saying is I regret how harsh I was in the past and now I try to be a little kinder. Seeing you change and help me change as well has given me a flicker of hope for this world I suppose.”

“Dia… That’s so sweet.” Yohane kissed her forehead before already regretting what she was going to say next. “I still think this universe is fucking miserable and really awful.”

“Oh it is.” Dia hummed. Things stilled, settling into a mellow but comfortable state. “But darling, things are changing. Maybe it’ll be easier soon.”

Yohane snuggled up against Dia, closing her eyes. “It’s already easier.”


	12. vaguely

The next day of their trip, Dia was set on getting her matcha and visiting Fushimi Inari Taisha. Yohane loved seeing her fired up like this and was happy to be pulled along. They headed to the shrine together, walking through the thousands of gates before they finally reached the main part. Saying their prayers before taking a look around, Dia was overall a lot more religious than Yohane but that wasn’t a problem.

Afterwards the two of them traveled to Uji, making their way down lots of different streets. Dia changed her mind about the famous tea shop she wanted to visit before. They couldn’t find one she wanted to go to. Eventually she picked a quiet place, filled with flowers and traditional paintings. Yohane was way out of her depth here. This really wasn’t her scene and these kinds of people usually looked at her with disdain. She just followed Dia’s lead and hoped for the best

In time, Yohane was able to relax with a cup of the best green tea she had ever tasted. The two sat together, enjoying their time. The music that played in the background was a little too pop and modern-like to suit the formal traditional vibe of this tea shop but it didn’t feel too out of place. The relaxing vibes made Yohane feel a little introspective. She knew their trip was almost over and wanted so desperately for it to last forever. When she was back home things were going to suck in comparison and she was really going to miss sleeping next to Dia.

Once tea was done, the two of them toured around Uji hand in hand. Coming to a park, Yohane sat down on a bench and smiled to herself. A family with a dog played at the far end of the field as an old man walked nearby. A breeze rustled the trees. Dia said nothing as she came to sit beside Yohane who just quietly noted how much nicer this would be with some music, she pulled out her phone and offered Dia one of her headphone earbuds. 

Dia took it, listening for a few minutes before speaking softly. “Yohane, this is shit.”

“Fine. Whatever.” Yohane muttered, reaching for the pause button. “This isn’t like- The only stuff I listen to.” She glanced away, defensively stopping the music. 

“I was only teasing. It’s not that bad, though not my taste…” Dia said, her voice sounding very careful. “You can keep playing your music… I would still like to listen.”

“Let me try and find something you may actually like… Wait, what do you like?”

“Modern classical… Things with a bit more elegance and anything with skilled piano playing. Although my weakness is idol music…” There was a hesitation to Dia’s tone. Was she really that shy about her interest in idols? 

Yohane grinned. “Why don’t you play something?” Surprise filled the air. There was a moment of slight hesitation before a song called ‘Arifureta Kanashimi no Hate’ was suggested. Yohane started playing it and was immediately impressed. She let the music play before glancing at Dia. “Who’s Ayase Eli?”

Dia opened her mouth to speak but quickly closed it again. Holding back for some reason. “An idol.”

“You like her?” 

“I think we would be here all day if I started to talk about idols.” Dia looked like she really wanted to talk about idols. Still she was defensive and closed off as ever. 

Yohane pushed it a little more. “Just tell me already. Dia, my darling little demon, I don’t mind.”

There was a small shake of her head. “We need to get back to the hotel and pack, now is no time for talking about frivolous things.”

“Don’t say that. You _like_ idols don’t you?”

“I have complicated feelings on them.” Time stopped. Dia’s expression soured. 

Yohane wasn’t deterred. “Well, we have a long train journey and I think that it would make a nicer conversation than last time.” She looked back to see the way Dia cringed at the memory and Yohane had to resist the urge to tease. She held Dia’s hand. “I like listening to you, ya’ know?”

“I-I suppose I could talk about it sometime.” Dia hummed to herself, her expression falling flat.

That ‘sometime’ came pretty soon. After packing up and checking out of the hotel they made their way to the train station. After a short wait Yohane and Dia boarded and found their seats on the train. Yohane pushed her to open up once again. The entire ride back, Dia had Yohane listening to songs by _μ's_. She was explaining everything from subunits to what Yohane guessed was obscure idol trivia. Still, Yohane listened to everything, enjoying the conversation and seeing the way Dia got excited.

When the train reached their final stop both of them were a little disappointed. Yohane, more than a little. Their trip was over and it was time to face reality again. A faint but painful ache hit her. She wanted to linger longer but couldn’t. Yohane gave Dia a weak smile when it was time for them to part ways. “I love you, thank you for everything.”

“Really, I should be thanking you. And...” Dia pulled her into a hug, kissing the top of her head. “I love you too.”

* * *

A few days later, Yohane got Dia’s call and arranged to meet at her house. Upon arriving, she was pulled into a quick kiss. They separated a moment later and Yohane spoke, scratching behind her head. “Alright. What’s happening?”

“I just wanted to see you.” Dia smiled.

Yohane returned the smile with one of her own, getting a little smug at having so much attention. “Well, the Fallen Angel has been known to have powers of charm, so it's understandable.”

There was an eye roll. “I’m sure that's the case, O’ great and powerful ruler of the underworld.” 

“Hey!” Yohane whined back, she glared at Dia before kissing her again as ‘payback’. Unfortunately Dia seemed to enjoy this punishment so her plan didn’t really work. Sulking, she ignored everything. Yohane just headed into the living room and flopped down on the couch. She made sure to take up as much of it as possible to be a menace. The moment anyone wanted to sit she would always move to give them space.

Dia trailed in after her, raising an eyebrow. “Can I get you something to drink?”

“Yes please. The strongest fucking thing you’ve got if you can, darling?”

“It’s hot chocolate or water I'm afraid. I do have some ginjo for later though.”

Yohane, still lounging on the couch looking up at her affectionately. “Hot chocolate? It’s been a while wow. Yeah, sure. I’d love that.”

There was a nod. Dia smiled before heading into the kitchen. She seemed so pleased whenever Yohane didn’t drink and that kind of meddling did piss her off. Dia still was the only person she would accept this treatment from. After all, she actually did care. Wondering when the hell she managed to accept the fact Dia cared about her, she started feeling weird and uncomfortable before pushing it away with a silent, ‘vaguely about my existence’. 

When Dia returned, Yohane sat up and accepted a red mug full of hot chocolate with a smile. There were even little marshmallows; it was truly adorable. Maybe a little out of character for Dia but there were no complaints here.

“Ruby likes them,” Dia mused, answering the question Yohane hadn’t had a chance to voice. She sipped at her own hot chocolate and mumbled into her drink. “As do I.” 

Resisting the urge to tease, Yohane decided to let her honesty go uncommented on. She wished Dia would loosen up around her. Making Dia nervous wouldn’t help with that. Things stilled for a few moments. Yohane sipped at her hot chocolate, enjoying the warm sweetness. “What’s the plan for tonight?”

A hum filled Yohane’s ears as Dia leaned back. “I was thinking we could watch something? It’s still early but later on I’ll make us some food.”

Yohane smiled. “Alright.” 

“Do you like documentaries?”

“Dia that's not a question any normal person would ask… Yeah, okay? I like them?”

She was blushing now, clearly embarrassed. Dia sat up, back ramrod straight and cleared her throat. “It is not an unusual thing to ask. If you don’t want to watch one that's fine.”

Yohane sighed, turning to Dia. “I was just teasing. Let’s watch one. Anything you want.”

“W-well there was a documentary about penguins that used to be one of my favorites as a child. It’s been a few years since I saw it but I remembered it being cute...”

“You’re cute,” Yohane commented, leaning over to kiss Dia. She tasted the sweetness of chocolate and felt the way Dia smiled against her lips. Lingering a second longer, Yohane pulled away. “Fine. We can watch it. I don’t mind.”

Yohane resigned herself not to be negative about this. Dia had a very pleased look on her face and she didn’t want to ruin that also learning a little about penguins may be fun. It couldn’t be that bad anyway. Dia put on the documentary. Yohane sipped her hot chocolate, the warmth was a perfect contrast to how cold the icy climates on the TV made her feel. When her mug was empty she snuggled up with Dia. Yohane wouldn’t say listening to someone talk about penguins was her favorite thing but it was nice. Dia’s snide comments about inaccuracies were what really entertained Yohane. Obscure and brutal. 

The documentary finished and Dia mused about starting cooking. What Dia ended up making was some simple curry but she added extra spice for Yohane. The two of them sat down to eat together and everything was rather chill. Dia put some music on in the background that played from a speaker connected to her phone. It was pleasant but Yohane enjoyed just being in Dia’s company as they talked over their food. The ginjo Yohane hassled her to serve with their food was a very nice touch in Yohane’s eyes.

With their meal done Yohane helped clear the table even though Dia insisted she didn’t need to. Yohane had her principles. Dia lied about the just ‘hot chocolate and water’ thing. She still had some whisky and poured Yohane and her some on the rocks.

“Dance with me?” Yohane asked, her mind lingering on the first time they went out. She really was going to remember that forever.

Dia smiled, raising an eyebrow. “Are you sure you can even walk?” There was hesitation before a nod. “Sure.” 

She picked up her phone, pausing the song. Yohane tilted her head waiting to see what Dia had planned. The tune that followed the silence was a slow and gentle rhythmic piano accompanied by a violin. It took a few seconds to get going but Yohane couldn't help thinking how beautifully elegant it was. It suited Dia. Yohane followed the way Dia stepped and swayed calmly as the music hummed around them. Composure perfect, Dia didn’t mess up once. Maybe Dia was right after all. Yohane started to think she was a little too drunk for this as she struggled to keep up. Luckily, patient and practiced movements guided hers. She fell into step, simply enjoying the chance to have her arms around Dia.

Their dance had taken them slowly, through intimate flowing movements and sight giggles, into the living room. Sadly the song wound down and so did their performance. Dia pushed Yohane down onto the couch and straddled her with a smile. A peaceful yet mesmerizing atmosphere filled the room. Feeling both their heartbeats quicken, Dia leaned down for a kiss and Yohane smiled as their lips met. She kissed back, feeling herself unravel at the affection. When they separated, Dia lingered desperately an inch away from her mouth. Yohane stuck her tongue out and silently begged for more. Dia gave her just that. 

The make out session fizzled with Yohane making it clear she didn’t want to go any further just yet and Dia respecting that. Instead, they just laid together on the couch. Gently stroking Dia’s hair, Yohane waited feeling calm for once. 

After a little while she knew it was time for this peace to end. She stirred Dia who was currently falling asleep. There was a groan. “Dia. I’m sorry but I’ve got to go.”

“Can’t you stay?” Dia asked, shooting her a weary and longing look.

A dull ache hit Yohane. She wanted to but shook her head. “I’ve got work tomorrow.”

“Wait.” Dia’s eyes opened fully as she sighed. “You’ve got to stop getting drunk when you have to get up for work the next day. Really Yohane, you should be smarter about this.” When Yohane just gave her a tired look Dia stopped and apologized. “Sorry for lecturing. I do it because I care but it is uncalled for...”

“No worries. And you know I’m trying.” Yohane got up from the couch and looked around for her bag. It rested underneath the table. She pulled it closer and checked for her things. “I’m gonna call a cab, okay?”

There was a slight nod. “You’ll have to stay over next time.”

“I’d love that. I’ll text you soon.”

Dia didn’t say another word; she simply sat up and kissed Yohane. 


	13. sorry

Waking up in the late morning with Dia in her arms, Yohane couldn’t believe it. She had stayed over Dia's for the night, and they planned just to watch a documentary and relax. Instead they started making out, and it escalated until they ended up going all the way. At first Yohane was worried but Dia took good care of her and she in turn did the same. Now it was the morning after, and she snuggled herself more into Dia, wanting to stay in this comfortable bliss. Eventually reality had to be faced. She stirred Dia from her slumber, calling out her name and kissing her forehead. Unfortunately, Yohane was completely ignored in favor of more sleep. “Dia… Come on!” Yohane whined, trying to wake her yet again. She pulled the blanket slightly away from Dia.

“Yohane, my darling... I love you so much but please let me rest.” Dia promptly curled herself back up under the covers in some brash avowal. 

Yohane let her stay like that for a moment, just enjoying how amusing and warm the situation felt. This was the usual now, huh? It contrasted sharply to how miserable and lonely she felt before. She broke the serene introspective and silence with an offer that Yohane hoped could tempt the gods. “Do you want some breakfast? I’ll bring it up to you.”

“Yeah…” Dia mumbled, sighing as she sat up. “I’m awake now so... I might as well actually get up and help you make something.”

“No. Dia let me do this for you, my god. I want to make you a delectable banquet cooked in the depths of the netherworld’s eternal flame.”

“Does... The netherworld have blueberry pancakes?” She stared at Yohane, ready to strike a deal. “Also, make yourself something because I’m not letting you skip.”

“Fine, fine.” She knew Dia was not to be tested and the idea of pancakes sounded nice. There were worse fates to be cursed with. Slipping on her hoodie Yohane headed down, now a lot more familiar with Dia’s kitchen and just being here. She hummed to herself as she mixed the batter and cooked the pancakes. 

The sound of footsteps made Yohane turn her head. She shot Dia a glare. “You are supposed to be in bed and I’m supposed to be making breakfast for you to have... _In bed.”_

“Look.” Dia sat herself down on the couch and grabbed her laptop. “I need to see if Furukawa-san agreed to my program proposal or not.”

“It’s a _saturday_ Dia. Does this Furukawa-san also overwork himself, have no life and ignore his girlfriend in favour of replying to emails?” Yohane was poking Dia a little but she hoped it wouldn’t be too much. A bit of push and pull should be fine.

“So you can drink on Tuesdays but I can’t work on Saturdays?” Dia spoke idly not even looking up from her laptop. There was the sharp sound of fingers rapidly tapping at the keyboard. It filled the air with static as Yohane processed that retort.

“Ouch,” Yohane scoffed, amazed Dia said such a brutal thing. Most surprising of all was that it didn’t actually bother her. She went back to the pancakes before they burnt, prepping a plate full of them, she wandered over to Dia and passed it to her. “You know you’re harsh sometimes.”

“If it hurt you’d tell me, right? I’d stop.” Dia took the plate, staring up at Yohane.

“Yeah, yeah.” Yohane ignored her in favour of focusing back on the pancakes as she returned to the kitchen. “I know you’d stop…” She left it at that. Cooking breakfast was more fun than the amount of complexes running through her mind.

Dia sighed, calling out and breaking the silence that started forming. “Mari has texted me.” 

“Why do you sound so unhappy?”

“Because she’s trying to get me to discuss my sexual life after I… Mentioned something happened…” Dia trailed off and Yohane felt heat rise up to her face. Okay, so Mari knows now… That’s not a bad thing right? It’s good Dia is talking to her friends about what’s happening in her life even if it is really fucking embarrassing. Dia seemed to hate to leave the conversation at that and spoke again. “She’s also invited me out to a festival next week just out of the blue in the midst of asking inappropriate questions! This woman is insane I swear.”

Eyes lighting up, Yohane grinned to herself. “I’ll go with you! Please it sounds so fun.”

“A festival? Really? There will be lots of crowds and it will be easy to get lost…” The hint of apprehension in her voice was apparent however Dia caved in mere seconds. _“Alright._ Fine. We can go.”

“Kukukuku!” Yohane’s voice deepened automatically as she served up her pancakes. “A dark festival of chaos! Fear not, my darling little demon! Yohane-sama will protect you!” She sat herself down next to Dia and gave her a smug looking smile.

“Alright, alright.” Dia smirked, rolling her eyes before leaning closer and kissing her quickly.

The two of them sat for a while, eating their pancakes as they relaxed together. The TV was switched onto a news channel that faintly talked about misery in the background. Things stilled as time passed. The peacefulness was broken by a tentative voice. 

“Don’t get mad but…” Dia trailed off, wanting to judge the reaction as she treaded carefully. Yohane shot Dia a glare, knowing this wasn’t going to be good. “I want you to have a _think_ about the idea of joining a program to help young adults deal with and manage alcoholism.”

Yohane’s glare got harsher. “Dia, what the fuck?” 

“I knew you’d hate it.” There was a sigh, she flashed a quick smile. “It may help. Please. I know you’ve been doing really well on your own but th-”

“Yeah.” Yohane sharply cut her off. “I have been so why the fuck are you suggesting this?”

“Because I want things to be easier for you. Look, you don’t have to. Or you could just go once and if it sucks you can never go again. And then you can give me a great big ‘I told you so’ and be happy you were right but…” Dia gave her a pleading look. 

Yohane realized this probably wasn’t going to be a choice and got prepared for how awful it would be. However, first she was going to put up a fight. “I really hate this idea.”

“Why?”

Yohane faltered. “Because it means I have to talk about my shit and I don't want to, okay?”

“I wish you would.” Dia shot her a weary look, reaching out her hand to hold Yohane’s. “I want you to talk about what’s been bothering you. I want to make things less painful. Everytime you go to leave my place you look so miserable and I hate the fact I have to let you go because I know you’re unhappy and you’re not safe.”

“Yeah well…” Yohane shrugged, not knowing what to say as she repressed the emotional storm surging inside her. “Dia… It doesn’t matter. I’m managing!”

She was pulled into a hug. “I know you are…” Dia’s voice was soft as she held her tight. “You’re doing amazingly. I just want to try and make things easier for you.”

“I’ll go if you call Kanan-san.” Yohane felt the way Dia was taken aback. She laughed. “See! It’s not nice having someone-”

“Do you promise?”

Considering it, Yohane agreed and hoped it would mean Dia forgot about this idea faster. “Fine.”

Dia, with a spite Yohane didn’t know could exist in her, let go and grabbed her phone. A few taps and she held it to her ear staring defiantly. Yohane was aghast. A tense half a minute passed by before Dia’s eyes widened. “Kanan. You picked up. Hello… Yes it’s been a while. H-how are you?”

The other end of the phone was muffled, Yohane couldn’t hear it and she didn’t try to for privacy’s sake. 

“Sorry I know it’s early. I just-” She looked to Yohane for a second, seaking some kind of reassurance. Dia took in a breath. “Look I hate the way things ended. I miss you and we are sorting out this mess of a friendship between us and I mean now.”

The phone was put on speaker, Dia placed it down gently. It was then Yohane noticed the way her hands were just slightly shaking. Yohane winced, wondering if she should even be listening to this. Wasn’t it like, really personal? Sure Dia was her girlfriend and all that but...

The voice that came from the phone was laid back but Yohane could tell there was a subtle anger to it. “Dia. It’s been over a year since we last talked and you call me now?”

“I know!” Dia put her head in her hands. “It was too long and I’m sorry. I should have called or you should have called but anyway… Let’s fix things.”

“Still the same old Dia I see…” There was a laugh that crackled through the phone’s speaker. “Always trying to fix things and mess with everything?”

 _“Always.”_ Dia confirmed. “Now. Tell me what happened between you and Mari. Did you want to fuck her was that the problem?”

Kanan coughed in surprise. “D-Dia? What on earth are you saying…?”

“Sorry. My girlfriend’s uncouth language is rubbing off on me.” Dia said, glancing over to give Yohane an adoring smile. Sitting helplessly in the midst of this mess, Yohane used it to ground herself. She waited, listening to how this was going to go.

“Girlfriend?” 

“It’s a long story…” Dia trailed off, seeming to wonder for a second if she should condense the tale down. The decision was made and it cut through the air. “Anyway. Answer the question.”

There was a pause. “Dia.” Kanan’s voice was tired. “It’s not that… I gave up trying to make things work. I don’t want to try again, just to watch it crumble.”

Dia’s shoulders slumped. A dull desperation lingered but it was gradually dying. “Sorry I called, Kanan.”

“Sorry I can’t make this go right between us three… I hope you and your girlfriend are happy though. I really do… Take care now Dia.”

The call ended and Dia’s face darkened. She clung to Yohane tightly, keeping herself together, somehow. Things lulled but Yohane kept holding onto her. Time still passed and there was a soft sigh from Dia.

“Call her again in two weeks.” Yohane treaded carefully. “Don’t bring up Mari-chan.” 

“What…?” 

“Listen. This shit isn’t fixed from a single call and it isn’t going to be the same.” Yohane pulled her closer, surprised she was coming up with sensible things to say. “That’s your problem, you're trying to go back.” 

“I just-” Dia faltered. “I miss her.”

“That’s okay. I’m sorry you got unlucky and what you had is gone but… I guess you can still build something new.” She rested her chin on Dia’s head. “Also you really need to stop trying to solve other people's problems as an excuse for fixing your own…”

“Sorry…”

“Now I have to go to some dumb therapy thing and I hate you for it,” Yohane spoke. Despite her words sounding harsh there wasn’t a single hint of malice. With how upset Dia was it may actually be a good idea to let her know that. “Wait…” Yohane started before trailing off, figuring how to word it. “I don’t mean that. I’m frustrated because you know I don’t like this stuff but I love you and I’m sorry about Kanan-san.”

“You don’t have to go if you don’t want…” A rare hint of nervousness, the call had really shaken her up.

“No. I’ll go.” Yohane resigned herself to getting better. That meant trying things even if she didn’t want to do them. It was worth a shot. At least that's what Yohane figured. “And if it sucks I'll try something else I guess.”

“Good.” Dia replied, correcting her posture back to that practiced perfect. 

Yohane didn’t say a word as she simply looped an arm around Dia and hoped to stop her hurting.


	14. fate

Yohane on her way home from work spotted a flyer about the very festival they would be going to tonight and sent Dia a text.  _ ‘I can’t wait!’  _ Two minutes later she sent another text of a meme she’d just seen and figured Dia would tolerate. That was their balance. Dia would sometimes even be slightly amused by them so it worked perfectly. Dia’s reply completely ignored the meme and instead spoke about the festival and told her the details about how this evening would go. Apparently they were to meet Mari and two of her friends there. 

Yohane wondered how tired she would be after working all day but figured after a nap she’d be okay enough. The festival and Dia would get her excited enough to override exhaustion anyway. Night fell and Yohane got her things together. She waited for Dia to come pick her up. Yohane kept insisting they could just meet there because it was easier but mostly she felt a bit like a burden and didn't want Dia anywhere near her house.

The decision was already made and time passed, bringing the festival closer.

Arriving there, excitement fueled her as bright lantern lights illuminated the way. Yohane tugged Dia by the hand enthusiastically. There was a noisy loud buzz from rides and people’s conversations as they got closer to the main section of the festival. Smells of shitty fried foods filled the air as all sorts of stalls started popping up.

Dia seemed a little apprehensive as if this was all a bit too much. Yohane slowed down, trying to think of some fun carnival games Dia might enjoy. Although first they needed to scout Mari.

Making it easy, a loud voice called out. “Diaaaaaaa!”

Following the yelling, they soon spotted Mari and her two friends. Dia smiled to herself as she walked closer. Mari pulled her into a hug and that smile turned into a groan. Yohane waited, standing awkwardly she waved to the other people. Dia pried Mari off her then introduced herself and Yohane. The word ‘girlfriend’ was used and it kind of took Yohane aback. Still she stood proud next to Dia and held onto her hand with a smile.

Neither of Mari’s friends seemed to mind as they introduced themselves. Mari already looked bored with all this and suggested they do something more exciting. Sadly a festival didn't have much in the way of rides but Mari had seen some bumper cars and was set on that idea. Every time they met, Yohane felt like she was slowly coming to understand how insane Mari was and how much she liked it.

Dia seemed perplexed but agreed nonetheless. They came to the bumper car and Dia suggested she drive it because she actually had a license. Yohane told her that made no difference here and sat herself down in front of the steering wheel, sticking out her tongue teasingly. Glancing around for Mari’s car, they locked gazes as Yohane stared daringly into those shiny golden eyes and the challenge was on. 

Dia sighed as she accepted her fate.

The round started. Pressing her foot down, Yohane launched them forwards. They followed the flow around clockwise, zipping and dodging people while they built up more momentum. Mari’s car was just in front and Yohane couldn't wait to slam into it. However Mari swerved to the side, putting Yohane in danger. “Shit.” She muttered to herself, rushing to get away. Unfortunately another car bumped into them making fleeing difficult. 

“Yohane…” Dia whined as she gripped at the seat belt across her chest for dear life. 

Pedal pressed to the floor, Yohane darted away, spinning the bumper car around early to get closer to Mari. Seeing an easy target, Yohane took a quick detour and slammed into a random group. A girl with long purple hair in low pigtails shot Yohane a grin. It was easy to make enemies here. Still she focused back on Mari and not a moment too soon as her car slammed into theirs. 

Mari’s laughter could be heard just above everyone’s screams.

“Damn it. Mari!” Yohane reversed her bumper car and started chasing after Mari, wanting revenge so badly. Sadly she never got it as the cars began to slow and the ride turned off. “Wait no!” she whined, turning to look at Dia who seemed thankful she survived. Okay, maybe take it easy for Dia’s sake… Yohane thought to herself as she offered a guilty smile.

With that done, the group wandered around together, chatting and enjoying the festival as they searched for thrills. Instead of taking part in any more chaotic fun, Yohane made it her goal to win Dia, after she noted it being rather adorable, a fluffy little white tiger plushie from a ring toss game. Several attempts later and Dia insisting it doesn’t matter, she succeeded. A soft plushie now sat proudly in Dia’s arms as they traversed through the festival.

“Are you gonna name it?” Yohane asked, pointing to Dia’s tiger plushie.

There was a long hum that filled the air playfully as Dia contemplated. “Marble.”

“Any reason why?”

Dia shrugged and that was the only answer she gave. It was left at that as the two of them traversed through the festival. Spotting a stall selling an assortment of foods, Yohane headed over with the plan of buying takoyaki while Dia caught up with Mari's group again. Waiting in line, Yohane was surprised to see a familiar looking head of purple low twin tails. Standing for a second, considering her options. The line was long and calling out to this person seemed like a way to pass the time. 

Tentatively, Yohane spoke up. “Hey there! You were on the bumper cars earlier right?”

The twin tails turned around, looking Yohane up and down for a second before smiling. “Yep, that’s me… My, I am surprised to run into you here… the great Fallen Angel Yohane-sama, left her netherworld throne to traverse this mortal realm and is now talking to little old me?”

Yohane’s mind stalled. “W-wait… You know of me?”

“But of course! I’m one of your  _ loyal little demons.”  _ As she said it she mimicked Yohane’s tone with a playful smirk. It didn’t seem threatening but still it made Yohane really nervous. Everyone had made fun of her for her live streams and weird hobbies, would this encounter be the same? The answer came in a soft voice. “We’ve been mutuals for a while. Toujou Nozomi, although you may know me as ‘spiritual power sixty nine’.”

Just as it was clicking into place, a woman with blonde hair to the side of Nozomi sighed. “I wish you didn’t name yourself such things.”

Nozomi’s smile grew, she waved it off. “It’s a bit of fun Elichi.” Her eyes focused back on Yohane. “I’m pretty lucky to get to meet you here in a festival of all places.”

Still not able to comprehend what was happening, Yohane stuttered her reply. “Y-yeah... It’s really nice to meet you.”

Nozomi seemed to find it cute. “Well, this line is starting to move and I don’t want to hold it up but shoot me a message tonight. I get a feeling the universe wants us to be friends, don’t you?”

“R-right! Will do.” Yohane replied, unable to stop the pure joy that appeared on her face. It had been a while since she had friends outside of the internet and someone who was a long time mutual with interest in the occult? It didn’t feel real.

Nozomi and her friend gave Yohane a smile before ordering food. They waved goodbye and Yohane almost forgot what she even wanted to buy in the first place. Right, takoyaki. Holding it carefully, she rushed off. 

Spotting Dia she smiled, barely able to contain her excitement. “Dia! Dia! I made a friend! Sort of…? We already knew each other but still!”

There was a look of surprise. “Oh? Knew each other how?”

“She likes my live streams! We were mutuals and I’ve watched a few of hers too!”

“That’s great.” She quickly patted Yohane’s head. “What kind of streams does she do?”

“Fortune Telling! She’s amazing at it.”

“Seems like you two will have things in common.” Dia smiled, moving her hand to hold Yohane’s and start them walking. Where exactly neither of them knew or cared. The atmosphere was nice and Dia was seeming to enjoy it now. “Want to find a spot to watch the fireworks?”

“Somewhere quiet so we can make out after?”

Dia coughed in surprise, a blush creeping into her cheeks. “You know I was going to suggest we find Mari but…”

“I’m too tempting?”

Dia said nothing in reply as they walked a little ways off from the festival, finding a quiet bench to sit at. They waited, chatting idly. Dia checked her phone for the time again and again, unable to stop her anxious mind from compulsively trying to micromanage everything. Yohane didn’t mind, she let Dia do what she needed to do in order to put herself at ease. If it ever got a little too much, Yohane figured she knew a few tricks to help Dia relax. 

Sadly the making out idea didn’t happen as a few other people, including a loud family, turned up. As Yohane rested her head idly on Dia’s shoulder she could feel that disappointment from interrupted privacy. Yohane figured she’d just have to kiss Dia a lot later on to make up for it.

As they sat together, Dia spoke. “Mari…” She hesitated. “Mari told me Kanan called her. Said they didn’t talk long but apparently the whole thing was a nice surprise.”

Nudging Dia’s arm, Yohane smiled. “Looks like Kanan wants something back too. I told you in Kyoto that it was fate, didn’t I?”

“You’re just saying that because of your streamer friend.” Dia seemed tense still. Kanan was always a heavy subject, a weight that brought down the mood in seconds. Dia really missed her, that much was obvious. Before there was any time to even start thinking of a reply, Dia continued. “Anyway. The fireworks will be starting soon.” She checked her phone for the time once again.

As if to answer, there was a sharp fizz as a rocket shot into the air. Dazzling gold and white burst out into the shy followed by a loud bang. Yohane grinned, staring up at the sky. More followed and the night came alive in bright flashes of light. Dia and Yohane sat close, staring in wonder.

The fireworks finished and the couple slowly headed back to the main area of the festival to scout for Mari and her friends once again. Reunited, they were teased a little for disappearing but Dia put Mari in a choke hold and it soon ended. 

By the end of the night, Yohane was exhausted. She just wanted to sleep for a year, however she did have a lot of fun. Saying goodbye was always the worst part and she’d really come to like Mari and her friends. 

Dia 'heavily insisted’ Yohane stay the night and completely ignored any reply. Yohane had work tomorrow but whatever, she could make it work. On the drive home, Yohane asked Dia if they could make a quick stop at her house. There, Yohane grabbed some of her overnight stuff before returning.

At Dia’s home, they both found a moment of respite and relaxed. Exhausted from the day and festivities Yohane just wanted to go to bed. Dia felt much the same. The tiger plushie was placed down on Dia’s shelf as they got ready for bed but Yohane took pity on him. She picked him back up, holding Marble in her arms. Dia found it amusing. Sharing a goodnight kiss, Yohane and Dia snuggled up in bed. There was a soft and tender embrace full of so much loving warmth. Somewhere in the middle of it the tiger plushie rested.

The morning after was a rush as Yohane quickly got ready for work. With her bad luck of course she missed her bus, having to catch the next one and run, arriving to work just a little late. It was relatively fine though and Yohane let out a sigh of relief. Last night still repeated in her mind along with musings about a show she wanted to watch as her day continued.


	15. stay

Two months passed by in the blink of an eye. Yohane was around Dia’s house more than her own and when she wasn’t it was either at work, hanging out with Mari or Nozomi.

Waking up with the woman she loved next to her, Yohane smiled. She pulled Dia closer, not wanting to ever let go. As her mind started wondering, her thoughts became clouded and painful. How different her past was contrasted against life now. This had become everyday and god it was so much nicer. Thinking about it made Yohane begin to tear up as she hugged Dia tighter, clinging for comfort.

“Huh… Yoha…?” A sleepy mumble that fell silent a second later. Dia stared into her eyes and right through her. “You’re... upset?”

“I’m not.” Yohane protested, wiping her eyes quickly before burying her head into the pillow to hide.

“Yes you are- Yohane, talk to me.” 

The air became heavier as the pause persisted. Yohane pulled her resolve together, trying to figure out what the hell she was actually upset about. Even if she found it talking about it would be another thing. Still Dia was patient as ever and Yohane began to mumble a lackluster reply.

“I… I don’t know, I just…”

Dia gave a sympathetic smile that was filled with worry as she moved her hands to cup Yohane’s face. “Oh Yohane... Darling, listen to me. It’s alright, I’m here.” Breath hitching, Yohane froze up, not making a sound or thought. Dia’s concern grew. “You’re okay, Yohane. I promise it’s going to be alright.”

“Y-yeah…” Yohane squeaked out before pulling away and sitting up. Moving on from this and fast would be nice. “Anyway… What are we doing today?”

Dia lay there, looking up at her for a moment, searching for something. She didn’t find it. “I have a conference call at like eleven thirty five then another at two with Furukawa-san… I wanted to deep clean the kitchen... Oh also I need to get groceries.”

“If you have a list, which I know you do… I can go get them while you're doing your meeting thingy?”

Dia looked touched. “Aww that's so sweet…” It was replaced by a grin. “Are you also going to be helping me clean?”

“Regrettably yes.” Yohane stuck her tongue out. She’d been staying here and contributing to the mess so it was only fair she’d start helping out. Sometimes it was fun but not very often.

“You know you might as well move in with me.” 

“Eh?”

“Ah…” Dia started blushing and fumbling for words. “I meant to do this properly after taking a week to figure a few more things out but… I want you here. I love you and I want this place to be your home.” She sat up, reaching over and placing her hand over Yohane’s. “Please think about staying here with me…” There was a long pause, each second Dia seemed to grow more apprehensive. “Yohane?”

“I mean, yeah I’ve been considering it in the future but…” Yohane trailed off, completing the rest of the sentence in her mind. A worry it was too early and if she was going to end up being a burden. Yohane planned to contribute financially and also to the housework but the feeling still persisted without reason. There was something else worrying her too.

“But?” 

Yohane’s reply came far too casually for the weight of her words. “Won’t you get sick of me?”

A sad smile before Dia pulled her into another warm hug that was filled with so much compassion that it felt almost suffocating. “Don’t say things like that. You know I wouldn’t.”

“We’ll have fights though…” Yohane closed her eyes, shutting them as tight as she could. She didn’t like thinking about it but it was something every couple would run into once or twice. Just how many would it take before Dia hated her?

“Probably.” Dia let go, facing things head on as she always did. “But that’s why it’s important we talk and also set systems in place so we don’t end up getting frustrated with one another.”

“Right, right.” The thought of that started to scare Yohane as she gently clutched at her arm, not knowing what to say.

“There’s something else… Isn’t there?”

Gulping, Yohane suppressed her shiver and wondered how Dia always read her so well. “It’s really dumb. I’m just being stupid and-”

“Buu buu.” She was interrupted. “Yohane, tell me. It’s not dumb if it worries you.”

“Fine… I’m worried you’re going to get mad and hurt me- See! I told you it was dumb!”

Dia looked horrified; she opened her mouth to speak but closed it again. Thinking for a moment, the words she wanted were found. “No. I’d never ever do that to anyone especially not you. I’m not going to hurt you or insult you or anything like that.”

“Dia.  _ Stop. _ It was dumb okay now can we just leave it?”

Dia nodded solemnly before she reached over for her phone, resting on the bedside table. “Why do I have thirty two new emails…”

“Because you’re a workaholic? And before you take the bait and make any snappy comeback-”

“I’m not going to.” Dia locked her phone, sighing as she stared into space. “Anyway shall we get some breakfast. I want to talk more about you maybe moving in but…”

“Food first?” There was a nod in reply. Yohane chuckled, sliding out of bed and stretching. “Sorry I got caught up in my dumb complexes.”

“Yohane you never have to apologize for something like that.” Dia's gaze shifted to her, it burned intently. Too intently.

“I know, I know…” Waving it off, Yohane stepped away. “And I know you’re not like that but…”

“You don’t have to apologize for things relating to trauma.” Dia flashed her a smile, still sitting in bed and not wanting to leave it. “It’s okay you know.”

“You’re the sweetest fucking person I’ve ever met. I’m so lucky to have you.” Moving closer, Yohane quickly kissed Dia, enjoying the comforting feeling of soft lips pressed against hers. It was the one relaxing thing in this hellish situation.

Dia pulled away with a smile. “And I’m lucky to have you too. Now let’s get breakfast.”

* * *

The day was filled mostly with cleaning. Dia really wasn’t joking when she said she wanted to do a deep clean. Although with  _ μ's  _ playing in the background and Dia rambling about a feminist think piece she’d read, things managed to stay slightly entertaining

Dia had to go join her second conference call, so Yohane picked up the shopping list and made her way to the nearby supermarket. Mundanely wandering down the isles, looking for that one flavor of pudding Dia really liked, it was then Yohane realized she wanted to stay with Dia. 

She returned, arms a little tired from carrying shopping bags. Packing everything away, Yohane went to go pester Dia. Sadly the meeting was still going. It seemed to have run over because boring people love to drone on. 

Yohane returned to the kitchen. She made herself some hot chocolate and waited for a little while scrolling through her phone. Deciding to try again, Yohane crept back over to Dia and was delighted to see the call had ended. 

Moving and kissing the top of her head, Yohane smiled. “Hey.”

“You find everything okay?”

“Mmm-hmmm, I got your matcha pudding. Do you want some now?”

_ “Yes, please. _ I love you so much. Stay with me forever.” It was an earnest statement as Dia grew excited about her favorite treat. Yohane rolled her eyes, going to get one and tossing it to Dia, who failed to catch it. Teasing her about her terrible hand eye coordination skills, Yohane passed her a spoon. Dia took it with a sheepish smile. “Thank you very much. Also come here.”

Yohane obliged, watching as Dia opened her pudding and popped a spoonful in her mouth. She deeply kissed Yohane a moment later. Matcha green tea mixed with sweet but all Yohane wanted to focus on was Dia’s tongue. She melted into the kiss and the flavor of the pudding. However she pulled away when she realized this would get too messy.

“Dia…” Yohane spoke, wiping her mouth. “I’ve been thinking.”

“Hmm?” Dia prompted her to continue as she took another spoonful of matcha pudding.

“I think I might like to stay with you forever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so it finally ends! Thank you so much for reading this series, I hope you enjoyed it! 
> 
> Thank you to all the people supporting me and this fic! And to my beta Ethanol and Psy_kicker, I owe you my life dfghdfjf Also this story was supposed to only be a quick one shot and I don't even like the pet name darling,,, Oh well (edit: I think I like it now ><)
> 
> please come talk to me on twitter @scarlettholly00 :>>


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